Milk Comes From Cows!

My darling preschoolers bring me so much joy and laughter. There are a hundred funny and joyful moments during any given today. This sweet little conversation was the "gem of wisdom" for today.

The scene takes place in my music class with a precocious group of three-year-olds.

Tyler: Miss Mindy. Do you have a baby in your tummy?
Me: Yes! I'm going to have a little girl named Eden. She'll be here around Thanksgiving time.
Sam: Miss Mindy, whatcha gonna feed your baby?
Me: I'll feed her milk.
Sam: Oh, from your breast?
Me: (Flustered, not wanting to explain breast feeding during music time) Um....well..... I'll be feeding her...er,um, mommy milk....from my......body.
Presley: (Exasperated) Sam! (Rolling eyes) Milk comes from cows, silly!

 

 

Gotta love innocence, and correct anatomical vocabulary.



Maternity Skinny Jeans: An Oxymoron

As a lover of fall- I am so happy with the recent trend of long (read: covering the hiney) cardigans, tunics, and baggy sweaters, paired with leggings or skinny jeans and boots. (English teacher friends: I am almost sure I just committed several punctuation crimes. Forgive me.)

From time to time I enjoy shopping and cruising pinterest for what the young folks are wearing, even though I am usually wearing a mom-i-form that is closer to yoga pants and t-shirts from high school. I am not super stylish, but I think I have occasional cute days with my limited resources and budget.

It is late August and I am due to have my last ever baby in December. Here in Oklahoma the only thing certain about our weather is its unpredictability. But I am hopeful that it will eventually cool off enough for me to want to wear my fall staple of skinny jeans and boots. So I purchased a pair of dark indigo maternity skinny jeans and black leggings online.

I was so excited to try them both on when they came in yesterday. I tried on the super soft, full panel, black leggings first and instantly declared them my new favorite pants. Soft, comfy, perfect with long tees and a jacket. Good to dress up for and evening out, or to kick around the house in. In short, I was in love. Pregnancy perfection. Naturally I was excited to proceed to my skinny jeans which were sure to be a hit.

Note: I own several other pairs of jeans, pants, and skinny jeans that are the same brand and size. They fit just fine. No problem.

I put on the jeans and attempted to pull them up. Attempted. They got stuck on my pregnant ham-hock thighs. Allegedly they were stretchy, but I found them not to budge at all. The top of the pants stopped somewhere around my hiney crack. They were so freakishly tight. So I made the choice to do whatever any self respecting woman would do. I pulled up the navy, stretchy, belly covering material and went to the kitchen to show my husband.

This is mean, but sometimes it is fun to wear something that you know is heinous to watch the man you love writhe uncomfortably as he tries not to say anything stupid. The conversation went something like this:

Me: Honey, do you like my new jeans?

Ryland: (Eyes huge, fear covering his face.) Those are cute.

Me: Are you serious? These are so tight that I look like someone who belongs in a "people of Wal-Mart" picture. I'm returning them.

Ryland: Ok. Thank goodness!

Y'all, they were an abomination. Skin tight with a major muffin top. Bad. Blech. Vom. Whatever you are imagining, it was worse.

Then I danced in them. It was a twerking/booty dance hybrid, except pregnant, and not sexy. My people laughed and then I crisco'd myself down enough to peel off the jeans so that I could breathe deeply again. Sweet freedom.

I will be returning them post-haste.

I told my sweet husband that I was planning to blog about this unfortunate experience, to which he timidly replied, "I don't really know how to say this, but, you aren't going to post a picture are you?".

"I'm too vain for that." I said. He exhaled, clearly relieved. And I threatened to punch him if he ever spoke of "the jeans" ever again.

Why couldn't I have been pregnant when gaucho pants were in style? Stretchy, loose, glorious, perfect for achieving a non-muffin-top style. Please ladies, for the love of future preggos everywhere, let's bring back the gauchos.

Maternity Skinny Jeans. Oxymoron.

30

In honor of my 30th birthday and my first 30 days of my 30th year, I am going to attempt to write a few "30" lists. This may be lame, it may be fun, it may be totally random.


To start, I give you, with no further adieu, 30 of my ex-boyfriends....Hmmm......Probably need to make my list longer.......

1. Just Kidding

30 Things I Would Eat All the Time If I Wouldn't Get Fat

30. Banana Pudding
29. Little Debbies
28. Chocolate Tres Leches
27. Chicken Chimichangas with sour cream sauce
26. Chicken and Noodles
25. My Mom's Spaghetti
24. My Mom's chili dogs
23. Indian Tacos
22. Red Robin Gourmet Cheeseburger
21. Onion Rings
20. Chick-fil-A Spicy Chicken Sandwich with Chick-fil-A sauce
19. Taco Bell Doritos Loco Taco- I'm so ashamed!
18. Grannie B cookies from her freezer
17. Sweet Tea
16. Stuffed French Toast with strawberries from IHOP
15. Panera Bread's Orange Scones- oh my lawdy
14. Classic Italian Sub from Arby's
13. My MIL's Paula Deen's Chicken and Rice Casserole
12. Creme filled chocolate frosted donut from Krispy Kreme
11. My MIL's Orange Pound Cake
10. Diet Dr. Pepper by the Gallon
9. Loaded Baked Potatoes
8. Hawaiian Sweet Rolls
7. Pioneer Woman's Cinnamon Rolls
6. Grannie B's Taco Salad
5. Schlotsky's Chicken and Bacon Club
4. Pizza from Hideaway
3. Tuscan Cheese Bread from Pepperoni Grill with oil and Vinegar
2. Fettuccine Alfredo
1. Cheesecake- any flavor

There you have it. This list could also be called 30 reasons it took me two freakin years to lose my baby weight. Or 30 things I'd like to be eating except I am on a diet. Or 30 Reasons I might be pre-diabetic.Or thirty things I might be fantasizing about when you think I'm listening....

What would you eat if it wouldn't stick to you and make you dough-y?

Worms

My kids are a little belly button obsessed this week. They always point them out whenever they are shirtless or bathing.

Today Isaac crawled up in my lap. He asked to see my belly button. If it were anyone else I would be telling a chump to put their dukes up, but for my baby boy, I obliged his weird, yet innocent request.

Bear in mind, my stomach has seen happier days. Flatter days. Days when it wasn't marred by the evidence of two very indulgent pregnancies.

Isaac pointed out my belly button and then touched one of my stretch marks and asked me what it was.

If I were answering honestly, I would have said something along the lines of him and his punk sister ruining my belly and preventing me from ever wearing a two piece again. But I didn't answer honestly.

I told him they were love marks from when he and Hope lived in my tummy as babies. Maybe it was kind of honest. Having those two is worth having a ruined body. I'd not trade a thing.

But Isaac promptly disagreed, telling me matter of factly, "No, I think they're worms."

What do you even say to that?

I just tickled him and laughed and silently vowed never to eat chocolate again.

That vow lasted about 10 minutes.

Judge if you must. But someone has to feed the worms......

Christmas Take 2

I have tried twice to post these pictures. I have tried twice to blog our magical Christmas experiences. I had this post completely finished, scheduled to post, edited, etc. And it did post, but it was empty, the whole thing eaten by some internet monster. I was T.O.'d. Now it is almost March and I am going to hum "Jingle Bells" and try to muster up nostalgic holiday feelings so I can caption these as beautifully as I did the first time.

Tunia: Holiday Fashion

Comfy.

 Unwrapping a smile.

 Deck the halls.

 Momma's favorite- a Christmas tutu!

 Elmo pj's from Mimi.

Chritsmas Eve Couture.

A Visit to the Man in Red

We went to Bass Pro Shop to visit Santa this year. This was Isaac's first experience with the big guy. The only gift he consistently asked for was a Dragon Happy Napper.

 Waiting in line.

Tunia is happy here. But five minutes after this photo I handed her to Santa where she screamed her guts out. We have a great photo of it, but alas, it is packed away. It's an actual picture- not digital. I'll apologize to her in the form of paying her therapy bills for her irrational fear of red velvet.

Polar Express Party- GCK

Have I ever mentioned that I love my job? Our pre-school had a Polar Express Party as one of several celebrations of the season.

At this party our assistant director thought it would be fun to use packaging popcorn as snow. After this the assistant direction was tar-and-feathered. Just kidding, she was just fired. Just kidding again, she was chastised in good fun.

The kids voted her as queen of the universe. They loved every minute.

Isaac had a grumpy minute. I sympathy grumped.

This is his buddy, M.

His other little buddy, A, was having a moment.

These kiddos had a Polar Express Parade, and marched through the church office ringing their bells.

The Christmas Train

We went to Dry Gulch USA to ride the Christmas Train. Of all our Christmas outings, this was the one that Isaac talked about the most. He loved it! You take a train ride where you get a kid friendly, reader's digest, pictoral version of the Bible. I am looking forward to taking the kids back when they are a little older and we can discuss what they see.

Isaac with his boarding pass.

Tunia and Daddy, ready to ride.

I had stomach flu the day before, but I was NOT going to miss. I'm glad I sucked it up and went.

They may have been a little nervous about this one...

Stockings!

Our Christmas plans change from year to year. But we have decided that our "thing" that we will keep just for us, is the stockings. This year we did them before any family arrived. Even though it was mostly dollar store goodies, the kids loved it. And it was great to get to watch them enjoy their gifts in a non-rushed environment.

Bubba is ready to dig in.

Sissy loves it!

So many fun treasures.

The loot.

This.

We tried this:

It didn't work. I hope his college room mate will be cool with changing his diapers.

Russell/Gardner Christmas

Mimi, Poppy, and the Gardner cousins came over to our house on the 23rd for what I hope will be an annual holiday get-together.

Gram Rosie went on a cruise (the nerve!) and sent her gifts to the great grands.

Joia gave Hopey a ride on her new princess scooter.

Digging in.

"The Grinch" was Isaac's favorite holiday movie this year. So naturally we had to have this shirt!

Hope's biggest cousin giving her princess couch training.

"Why can't my grandkids just smile for ONE picture!?!?  Everyone else gets cute pictures of all their grandkids!"- Mimi Cyndi

At least Jaisa was smiling.

Candlelight Christmas Eve

Our church has an annual Christmas ever service. We sing Christmas carols by candelight and reflect on the birth of our savior. This year we were joined by Mimi and Poppy. Mimi joined Ryland onstage at the piano, and Poppy held Petunia who was bribed to sit still with a sucker.

Poppy and Petunia.

Isaac and "My" Kara onstage listening to the message.

Later we went to Dewey for dinner at Aunt Judy's and gifts at Jeje and Pawpa's house.

Jeje and Uncle Lane.

So sweet.

Feeding the Reindeer

At my Grandma Bonnie's house, the little kiddos have began feeding the reindeer a bag of glitter and oats in recent years- oats to eat and glitter to reflect the moon and help them see where to land.

Daddy and Isaac pouring out the feed.

Christmas Morning

This was the first year EVER in the history of my life that I spent Christmas morning in my own house. It was glorious. Waking up, being home, having a big yummy breakfast. Lovely.

Isaac got Buddy the T-rex from dinosaur train.

Hope got purple fairy princess things.

She also got a sing-a-ma-jig that Pawpa enjoyed too.

Somehow I won the Christmas morning lottery and I got ALL the kid's grandparents. I get teary thinking about it because it was so precious and I doubt it will ever happen again. I loved every minute.

Having a yuletide cinnamon roll.

Such a happy boy! Fueling up for more presents.

Grannie B's

Great Aunt Glenda and Chris helped Isaac open his gift.

This is the last Christmas we will spend in Grandma's home of over 30 years. There are a million images in my mind like this one. All precious. All greatly treasured. All will be very missed.

The kids and I made all the Grandmas and Great Grandmas a hand painted calendar. Isaac delivered Grannie B's to her and identified EVERY picture to her.

Chickasha All the Way!

Our last scheduled stop was at Angie's house in Ry's hometown of Chickasha. The Gardner girls and Isaac decided to sing and dance for us.

So painfully shy.

They dressed Isaac like this. He liked it for approximately 10 nanoseconds.

Isaac decided HE needed a solo. Again, so shy. Not.

His adoring fans.

Even Hope was bitten with the performance bug.

When his cousins did this to him, we knew we needed to call it a day.

We retired to our hotel, only to wake up in the night with a very sick Hopey. I took her to the ER with a high fever and a respiratory infection. And hopefully we will have the ER bill paid off by next Christmas.

Yes, we were sad to see Christmas go, but we know it will be back before we know it.