Maternity Skinny Jeans: An Oxymoron

As a lover of fall- I am so happy with the recent trend of long (read: covering the hiney) cardigans, tunics, and baggy sweaters, paired with leggings or skinny jeans and boots. (English teacher friends: I am almost sure I just committed several punctuation crimes. Forgive me.)

From time to time I enjoy shopping and cruising pinterest for what the young folks are wearing, even though I am usually wearing a mom-i-form that is closer to yoga pants and t-shirts from high school. I am not super stylish, but I think I have occasional cute days with my limited resources and budget.

It is late August and I am due to have my last ever baby in December. Here in Oklahoma the only thing certain about our weather is its unpredictability. But I am hopeful that it will eventually cool off enough for me to want to wear my fall staple of skinny jeans and boots. So I purchased a pair of dark indigo maternity skinny jeans and black leggings online.

I was so excited to try them both on when they came in yesterday. I tried on the super soft, full panel, black leggings first and instantly declared them my new favorite pants. Soft, comfy, perfect with long tees and a jacket. Good to dress up for and evening out, or to kick around the house in. In short, I was in love. Pregnancy perfection. Naturally I was excited to proceed to my skinny jeans which were sure to be a hit.

Note: I own several other pairs of jeans, pants, and skinny jeans that are the same brand and size. They fit just fine. No problem.

I put on the jeans and attempted to pull them up. Attempted. They got stuck on my pregnant ham-hock thighs. Allegedly they were stretchy, but I found them not to budge at all. The top of the pants stopped somewhere around my hiney crack. They were so freakishly tight. So I made the choice to do whatever any self respecting woman would do. I pulled up the navy, stretchy, belly covering material and went to the kitchen to show my husband.

This is mean, but sometimes it is fun to wear something that you know is heinous to watch the man you love writhe uncomfortably as he tries not to say anything stupid. The conversation went something like this:

Me: Honey, do you like my new jeans?

Ryland: (Eyes huge, fear covering his face.) Those are cute.

Me: Are you serious? These are so tight that I look like someone who belongs in a "people of Wal-Mart" picture. I'm returning them.

Ryland: Ok. Thank goodness!

Y'all, they were an abomination. Skin tight with a major muffin top. Bad. Blech. Vom. Whatever you are imagining, it was worse.

Then I danced in them. It was a twerking/booty dance hybrid, except pregnant, and not sexy. My people laughed and then I crisco'd myself down enough to peel off the jeans so that I could breathe deeply again. Sweet freedom.

I will be returning them post-haste.

I told my sweet husband that I was planning to blog about this unfortunate experience, to which he timidly replied, "I don't really know how to say this, but, you aren't going to post a picture are you?".

"I'm too vain for that." I said. He exhaled, clearly relieved. And I threatened to punch him if he ever spoke of "the jeans" ever again.

Why couldn't I have been pregnant when gaucho pants were in style? Stretchy, loose, glorious, perfect for achieving a non-muffin-top style. Please ladies, for the love of future preggos everywhere, let's bring back the gauchos.

Maternity Skinny Jeans. Oxymoron.

2012 Russell Family Digital Christmas Card- the Late Edition

I usually post an end of year wrap up on my blog before Christmas as a "Russell Family Digital Christmas Card". And I usually do it before Christmas , but at the moment it is December 26 and I am in the car on my way to see my hubby's family in Chickasha. It has been a wonderfully busy Christmas season and I haven't had the time to sit and formulate ideas like I wanted to. As I have stated several times, my intent for my blog is to be a gift and a chronicle to my kids. The end of year letter is the "Cliff's Notes" version of each year, so it is important to me to finish it.


This makes me want to cry. She was so tiny in January!

A brother/sister moment.

A midwinter zoo trip.

January - We rang in the new year at home with my Mom and Dad. I tried my best to re-create some of my favorite dishes from the now defunct Bahama Breeze in OKC. I made jerk chicken pasta, Cuban bread, chocolate tres leches, and Mimi Cyndi's mandarin orange salad. I started the year with my sweet but still-in-diapers boy and my tiny, baby, pacifier sucking, barely walking/talking, diaper wearing baby girl. Ryland and I did something different this year with our New Years resolutions. We wrote family expectations. We wrote personal goals, marriage goals, and goals for our kids. Happily, we reached many of them and we made great progress towards many others. Being the visual person that I am, I highlighted/marked off each goal as we reached it. At year's end, I am happy to report that there are more things highlighted and marked off than left blank. The kids both had yucky ear infections most of this month which resulted in many doctor's visits and bills.

Tunia's surgery with her happy napper and paci.

Isaac cried when he found out we couldn't keep his tiger gown.

My husband indoctrinating our children early.

February- My honey turned 28 and my baby boy turned 3. We celebrated Isaac's birthday with an indoor pool party with his best buddies and we took our annual trip to Arkansas to celebrate with Mimi and Poppy. Isaac and Hope both received new tubes & lost their adenoids within 5 days of each other. That was not fun, but we were so glad to see them have relief after months of ear infections and the sickies.


Isaac grew out his stache for his party, but we made him shave it.

Isaac and his buddies at his party.


The birthday boy at Aunt C's homecoming.

 

March- We happily marked off several New Years Expectations! My Isaac finally became potty trained. We were overjoyed that after several hard-fought days he decided to be a big boy. He did great and has had very few accidents. We also paid off our last car in an effort to be completely debt free. Mimi, Poppy, Aunt Hilary, and Uncle Hayden came to visit us and we got to take Hil and Hay to see the Hunger Games on opening night. Isaac also started his first season of soccer. He did more sitting & flower picking than scoring and assisting but he looked adorable in his white sweatband and cleats. Hopey quit the paci for good. She really quit being a baby after this, she literally started speaking in complete sentences.

My soccer star.

April- I reached a personal goal by completing my first 5K. I finished at a time that was better than what I anticipated, and it felt great! We had our annual Easter service at Central and as usual, I was so proud of my husband's creativity and God given gift of leading others in worship.

First "tigtails".

May- It was the end of the kids & my school year at GCK. We left on the last day of school to celebrate the retirement of my sweet friend, Donna Burkey, and to attend high school graduation parties for our cousins/greatly loved ones- Dana, Carly, Jordan, Mary Ann, Mary Kathleen and we had to miss Brittany's but we love her too!

Mothers Day gifts.

June- Daddy left for a few weeks of camp season and the kids and I enjoyed summer session at GCK. We spent lots of time swimming at Miss Ash-a-ley's house and being lazy. We overnighted at KMAK with Daddy and grieved when our beloved OKC Thunder lost the NBA title to the Miami Heat.

Big girl bed.

The sweetest picture of Hope and her Daddy.

The big boy bed.

July- We celebrated Independence Day at the Kaiser Hood Pig Roast. Our friends Jase and Riley joined us two days a week to play. We spent a week at Greers Ferry in Arkansas with both sides of Ryland's family. We did a lot of boating, swimming, eating, and just being together.

Dock time.

Cousins at breakfast.

August- I got a wild hair and cleaned out and re-organized every closet, cabinet, and drawer in the house. It took the whole month. Geesh. I had a nasty case of strep throat. Yuck. We moved Hopey from her crib to a toddler bed, and Isaac from a toddler bed to a big bunk bed. My cousin Riann and her husband Trent, and big brother Parker welcomed their gorgeous baby girl, Karla "Sloan" at the end of the month. Isaac and Hope were immediately smitten with baby "Fwoan".

September- The kids and I packed our backpacks and headed back to school. The kids loved their teachers and were excited to be back with their friends. Sadly we lost our precious Pawpa Kenneth to a very rare brain disease. We miss him dearly but we are so thankful that we know that we will see him again someday. The theme of his life was quiet service to those who had needs. He gave generously of his time, talents, and treasure, and was truly the hands and feet of God. He is one of the kindest men I've ever known. I'm so proud that I had the privilege to marry into and raise a new generation of his legacy.

Us.

First day of school.

First day of school.

We miss you Kenneth.

October- My tiny, spicy, fun, little rinka (princess) turned 2. We celebrated with a pumpkin patch party with some of her dear friends. And I turned 29 again. Ok, I turned 30. My husband took me to Galveston where we boarded a cruise ship, set sail for Cozumel, and spent 4 glorious days on the ocean. It had been nearly 4 years since we had spent more than 1 night alone together and I had no idea how much I missed Ryland Russell, my best friend. At home we are so often mom, dad, music guy, preschool teacher, fixer, diaper changer, cook-er, clean-er, do-er. It was refreshing to be us, the old us, the us who fell in love and had a history before kids and jobs and lives. For the record, we are insanely thankful for the kids, jobs, and lives that we have, but a respite gave us time to reconnect, clear our minds, and come home refreshed. It was just what we needed. I'm sad we didn't do it sooner! We came home to our pukey boy. And a week later my sweet hubby planned a surprise party for me with some of my very best people. I was loved into my 30's for sure. We celebrated Halloween as grapes ( Ryland and I ) and the kids were Buzz Lightyear and Baby Buzz.



Cinderella and Grapes.

 

Hope's birthday hayride.

 

Hope's birthday cook-in

 

Me and my boyfriend.

 

Buzz and Baby Buzz.

November- I spent the first weekend in November helping my parents to move my baby brother to San Antonio. When the lovely (and by lovely I mean completely horrible) moving company, All Star Movers didn't do what they said they would do, we ended up having fun anyways. We're Harmons, that's what we do. At the Russell house we decked our halls early. The kids helped and absolutely loved having our home draped in the colors of the season. We spent Thanksgiving with all four sides of our families and came home stuffed, loved, and exhausted. My little girl came home and decided that she was over diapers and promptly potty trained herself. No joke. She started "going" on her own, has had very few accidents, and even stays dry most nights. I am simultaneously weirded out and completely amazed. Way to go baby! Her determination served her well this time. My sweet hubby went in to high gear with his preparations for our church Christmas musical.

Random, every day antics from these two.

December- December is always a marathon month for us. Holiday parties, family gatherings, Christmas musical, and other little fun bits. We loved watching "the Grunch", "necorating" Christmas trees in the kids rooms, and getting deliveries from our elf Sherry, to put in our nativity. Our church's Christmas musical was my husband's best ever. Everything was perfect from the music, to the special effects, the drama, the videography, it was amazing. You can watch it here: http://vimeo.com/55698999 . My preschool music program was the next week. The highlight was a 27 piece nativity made entirely of pre-k cuties as the sang a song called "Was He a Boy Like Me". Ryland and I took the kids to visit Santa at Bass Pro Shop. Isaac asked for a "whiting mckeen gi-tawr" and new Toy Story friends, Hope wanted "Anastic Inastics Dora". We ended the evening with a visit to the lights at Rhema and dinner at Teds. We attended the Owasso Christmas parade. We had parties with our staff, choir, Sunday school class, polar express at the preschool,and then had Christmas celebrations with (deep breath) ... The Harmon's at the Scully's, the Russell/Gardners at our House, the Clapp's at the Upton's, the Harmon's at my parents, and the stinking stupid snow that wasn't bad except for where we were headed delayed us for a day but then we celebrated with Gram Rosie at her place, and the Russell/Rose/Allen/ Burruss families at Angie's. I returned home with my husband, kids, a mountain of gifts, and a bad cold. Santa brought my kids all they wanted and even though it is a lot, and is rushed, we are so thankful that we have so many beloved family members that want to spend time with us. It is wonderful. And my kids are so blessed with family that adores them.

My favorite Christmas picture of '12.

The Russell babies with Mimi and Poppy.

Christmas eve with Jeje and Pawpa.

2012 has been a peaceful year. There have been some sad and stressful moments, but it has mostly been a season of good health, happy marriage, and uneventful life. I know that in the years where life has been stressful and hard that my character and faith have been strengthened, but in a year where there has been rest and sabbath I have been made keenly aware of how sweet and blissful the small moments are. God is in the small stuff- kids potty training, snuggling, dishes, laundry, running, pre-school, and vacations. The small stuff, and our gratitude for it, are just as important as the monumental life changers to God. He is in it all, He doesn't miss a thing, and it all passes through his hands. For that I am thankful.

 

I am finishing the editing process today: December 30, 2012. Less than 48 hours from 2013. I have no idea what my future holds. I have no idea what my letter will say this time next year, if I am blessed enough to be here to write it in a year. I hope it says that we prayerfully considered buying a home, that we are somewhere in a continuum of bringing a new person into our family (not an announcement- just a hope at the moment), that my kids and husband are healthy and well, and that I know then just as I know now that God is good, He is for me, and He loves you and I, whoever "you" may be.

Dear friends, God bless you in 2013. I pray that you'd find something in every day and hour and minute to be thankful for. I guarantee that you won't have to look far.

 Merry Late Christmas and Happy Early New Year.

From Me and My Forever Boyfriend.

 

 

30 Days I'd Like to Re-Live

Please note that I didn't say 30 days I'd like to go back and change. The older that I become, the more I realize the fragile nature and unreliability of memory. And because of that, there are days I wish I could go back & visit- like watching a movie for a second time. You always see things in more detail the second time. And having lived so much life since these days my life experiences have made the memory of these days so much more precious. These are my choices. 

30. The day my brother was born. I was only 3 but I wonder what I thought and felt that day. 

29.The day I received the PLC scholarship at UCO. Life changer. 

28. Any day from my trip to Disney World. 

27. Any day where I used to be a size 6. 

26. Any Friday night I spent in the sidelines as a high-school cheerleader. 

25.The day I moved away from my parents. 

24. A day from one of my summers in Grove at my grandparents lake house. 

23. The first time Ryland kissed me. 

22. Any of the nights I spent in my grandparents' Barnsdall homeplaces.

21. My 16th birthday. 

20. A lazy summer day poolside with my family as a teenager. 

19.Any night where my babies were tiny enough to sleep all night on my chest. 

18.A day from my time as an RA working for my friend Steph. 

17.A day from Energy Camp where I met my Morgan. 

16.Any Miriam adventure from any decade. 

15.Any Falls Creek day from my teen years. 

14. The day Ryland proposed to me over a picnic at Birch Lake.

13.Any Christmas Eve/Day of my childhood. I am so homesick for the magic of those sweet days. 

12.The days that my kids said their first words and walked for the first time. 

11. Graduations- high school & college. 

10.The first time I saw the ocean in junior high. 

9.Any post-football game cruising session with Aubrey and Charity in the Merc. 

8. The first time I ever sang in church. It took so much courage. Still makes me a nervous wreck. 

7.The day after fall finals at college- any year. What feels better than Christmas break at home during college? 

6. My first day as a teacher in 2005. 

5.Any of the days of my honeymoon in Jamaica. 

4.The days I found out I was expecting my kids- June 13, 2008 and February 6, 2010. 

3.The days my children were born. 

2. My wedding day. 

1.  The day that Jesus became more than a story, he became mine. The most important day. I'm so thankful for this. It truly gives meaning & purpose to all the other days. I hope each of you have experienced this "day" in your life. 

What day would you like to re-live? 

30

In honor of my 30th birthday and my first 30 days of my 30th year, I am going to attempt to write a few "30" lists. This may be lame, it may be fun, it may be totally random.


To start, I give you, with no further adieu, 30 of my ex-boyfriends....Hmmm......Probably need to make my list longer.......

1. Just Kidding

30 Things I Would Eat All the Time If I Wouldn't Get Fat

30. Banana Pudding
29. Little Debbies
28. Chocolate Tres Leches
27. Chicken Chimichangas with sour cream sauce
26. Chicken and Noodles
25. My Mom's Spaghetti
24. My Mom's chili dogs
23. Indian Tacos
22. Red Robin Gourmet Cheeseburger
21. Onion Rings
20. Chick-fil-A Spicy Chicken Sandwich with Chick-fil-A sauce
19. Taco Bell Doritos Loco Taco- I'm so ashamed!
18. Grannie B cookies from her freezer
17. Sweet Tea
16. Stuffed French Toast with strawberries from IHOP
15. Panera Bread's Orange Scones- oh my lawdy
14. Classic Italian Sub from Arby's
13. My MIL's Paula Deen's Chicken and Rice Casserole
12. Creme filled chocolate frosted donut from Krispy Kreme
11. My MIL's Orange Pound Cake
10. Diet Dr. Pepper by the Gallon
9. Loaded Baked Potatoes
8. Hawaiian Sweet Rolls
7. Pioneer Woman's Cinnamon Rolls
6. Grannie B's Taco Salad
5. Schlotsky's Chicken and Bacon Club
4. Pizza from Hideaway
3. Tuscan Cheese Bread from Pepperoni Grill with oil and Vinegar
2. Fettuccine Alfredo
1. Cheesecake- any flavor

There you have it. This list could also be called 30 reasons it took me two freakin years to lose my baby weight. Or 30 things I'd like to be eating except I am on a diet. Or 30 Reasons I might be pre-diabetic.Or thirty things I might be fantasizing about when you think I'm listening....

What would you eat if it wouldn't stick to you and make you dough-y?

I Agree, President Obama

I am not a "politics" girl.

I am admittedly way more uninformed than one should be.

I don't watch NBC, ABC, CNN, or FOX News. I'd rather watch Project Runway or anything on E.

I do not vote in every election.

I am not someone who places a great deal of faith in politicians. They gag me with their egos, agendas, lies, and schemes.

Also, I really like to stay away from inflammatory issues because there are many Christians who do not heed the "clanging gong" advice in the Bible and give non-believers more ammunition and reason to continue being non-believers.

The clanging-gongers tend to be very vocal, very quick to forward completely false information about their political opponent (without checking on snopes.com, for the LOVE!), and enjoy tearing apart anyone with a conflicting viewpoint.

President Obama was quoted recently as saying, "look, if you’ve been successful, you didn’t get there on your own. You didn’t get there on your own. I’m always struck by people who think, well, it must be because I was just so smart. There are a lot of smart people out there. It
must be because I worked harder than everybody else. Let me tell you something
-- there are a whole bunch of hardworking people out there. (Applause.)
If you were successful, somebody along the line gave you some help.
There was a great teacher somewhere in your life. Somebody helped to create
this unbelievable American system that we have that allowed you to thrive.
Somebody invested in roads and bridges. If you’ve got a business -- you didn’t
build that. Somebody else made that happen."

And people proceeded to flip out. Like crazy. People climbed up on soapboxes and pontificated on their hard work and achievements. And I have to say, I am with president Obama on this one.

I am always disgusted with entitlement. I am disgusted with the entitlement I see in students today, with people I encounter in the world, with church members, with members of my own family, and within my own heart.

There was a man long ago who worked hard, a self starter some would say. And God looked upon him with favor, blessed his endeavors. And then God allowed it to be taken away. You see- it all belonged to God in the first place. Everything that you and I possess belongs to God and He is kind enough to share it with you. And this man understood this. He was devastated obviously, but Job understood that it is the Lord who gives and takes away, and He blessed the name of God and was restored for his faithfulness, not because he was entitled and because God owed him anything.

I think about this. God allowed me to be born with some of the following advantages to success: female. white. American. middle class. in the 1980's. to married parents. protestant. healthy. developmentally, physically, and mentally normal. not handicapped. not deformed.

Because of some of these simple things, my life and my potential has been easier to improve and develop than someone who was born, say: Jewish. female. Polish. Learning disabled. Born in the 1930's. Not so easy to find safety and success when a crazed dictator wants to wipe out your whole ethnicity and use eugenics to eliminate you.

or: Black. Male. Albino. Tanzania. Present Day. It's probably hard to worry about building a business when you are worried that bounty hunters are going to hack you up and sell you to a witch doctor since your blood is believed to be magical.

perhaps: Female. Indian. Calcutta. Orphaned. with AIDS. Again, if you are sick and forced in to prostitution, I am guessing that a college education won't be a realistic goal for you.

Do you not see that God placed you where you are, with the parents you have, with the physically features, mental capacity, and able body you have. You did not choose that. And there is not a thing you did to make it so. Grace placed you where you were, and it was so.

I may scream if I see or hear another person complain about this quote. Everything you are and everything you have belongs to God. Praise Him and thank him everyday that He has been so generous to give it to you. God does not owe you 6 figures a year because you tithe. God does not owe you good health even if you work hard to stay healthy. God does not owe you safety just because you purchase a house in a gated community.

But because He loves you more than I can ever tell you He gives you grace, and mercy, and forgiveness, and gives you more "stuff" than you deserve. You are not self made. You are made int the likeness of a creator who wants to know you, and wants you to recognize that all you have is His, and when you give it back to Him, He'll bless you many times over, just like he did Job.

Entitlement is gross. And President Obama got this one right.

I will now resume my politics free life and avoid watching election coverage until December, when there will be a whole new crop of things for people to complain about and feel entitled to.

Time Capsule

Here is a conversation that happened circa 1998 that I now find humorous:

MY DAD: Mindy, where are you going?
16 YEAR OLD ME: I'm going to pick up Charity, we're going to drag main.
MY DAD: Oh no you're not. You need to find something better to do than drive all the gas out of our cars when gas is $1.85 a gallon. (Muttering under his breath as he ruins my social life...)

END SCENE

(bows, applause, lights, curtains)

As I pumped gas into my car at $3.19 a gallon today I remembered this conversation. I'm sure in (sob) 15 years when Isaac is driving I will say something similar. When gas is $6.00 a gallon. Or maybe we'll have the flying robot cars that run on marshmallows that the world has been teasing me with since 4th grade. We shall see.

I Don't Get It...

Things I honestly don't get:

1) Why in the heck are people so shocked by Hollywood divorces? I mean seriously? Two people who have already had multiple marriages, have a reputation for being unfaithful, and make their career their god- and it is shocking when it doesn't work? I don't get it.

2) This might be mean- but I am AMAZED at the people who use their facebook status to dole out wisdom to the masses. As a person who admits to being a mess I don't feel the need to spout wisdom for those who might be more messed up than me. If you are a psycho I really don't feel like taking marriage or parenting advice via your facebook status.

3) "Re-post this as your status if..." No offense if you indulge in some occasional re-posting but it drives me nuts. I love Jesus and soldiers and animals and my friends/parents/brother/uncle. I hate child abuse and social injustice. I do have the guts to re-post things but I hope more than that I have the guts to live it out in my real life.

4) People asking questions that only pertain to them in a public forum. Ask in private!

5) Kidz Bop. Raise your hand if you think Lady Gaga is kid appropriate music? Anyone? Anyone? Bueller? Bueller?

6) How men can't see things in plain sight. My husband and son suffer from this affliction. I can point at an item, describe it's location and they still can't see it! My mom used to joke that her uterus was a tracking device. Sometimes I think she was right.

7) Why why why why does Christian culture love "Marvelous Light" so much? I don't get it. Not a music critic so I will stop there.

8 REST IN PEACE. RIP? I hate hate hate this term and I hate the abbreviation even more. I have used it jokingly. Like in reference to my pre-baby body and silly things like that. But if I am dead I want to be dancing in the presence of my king! I don't want to be resting peacefully in my body that is worm food. When I die- please don't "RIP" me.

9) I don't get why I didn't call this blog post "stuff that bugs me". Were you wondering the same thing?

10) Christmas Fruit Cakes- Have you ever eaten one? Have you ever seen anyone eat one? I've seen them in the stores. But do people buy them? Are they useful other than as a gag gift? I would not eat one unless I was starving. And even then I may resort to cannibalism first.