Hope: The Third

Sissy,

Three birthdays. I can't believe it. My baby is three.

You've had one incredible year, baby. A few weeks after you turned two you gave me the surprise of a lifetime by potty-training yourself. I would catch you going in the bathroom, undressing yourself and going! I'm so proud of you. You even mastered staying dry overnight in a matter of weeks. I love that about you. You are so determined.

You are a lover of all things girly. You love pink and purple. You love princesses. You love tutus, sparkles, bows, ribbons, nail polish, dress up clothes, and big girl make-up. We catch you in frilly dresses all the time. Every day after you get dressed you run to your Daddy to spin for him and show him your outfit. You are the apple of his eye. His affection makes you sparkle. I love the way you two love each other.

You really enjoy your friends from pre-school, especially Michaela, Burel, Parker, and Kalob. You love your teachers and love learning. You are a participant in life. You don't want to miss anything- games, conversations, or food. You are brave and love to try new things.

You are a song bird. You love music and often sing yourself to sleep or sing during play. You love Dora songs, the "Sofia the First" theme song, Katy Perry's "Firework", and any funny song. You have a sweet, chirpy voice that I love. And sometimes I even catch you lip-syncing in the back seat. Your animated facial expressions are equal parts adorable and hilarious.

The only thing in this world that you truly hate is bedtime. You are a professional at finding reasons to get up- water, flashlight, one of your two noise-machines, potty-break, missing babies, you name it. You are grumpy and very seldom go to sleep without tears. But once you are down you sleep for a good ten hours. You still nap during the day for a few hours too. Keep napping strong!

You love to "paint" in your imagine-ink books. You are also becoming very interested in drawing, coloring, and stickers. You have started tracing your name. I'm amazed at how your fine motor skills are progressing so quickly.

You are hilarious. You have the most expressive little face. You can sass, you can make jokes with perfect timing, and you can break hearts when you cry. You are both sweet and spicy. You are one of my favorite people, and I love your personality. Even when you get bossy and wag your finger, forcing me to retreat somewhere to laugh before I scold you. You have a magnetism that draws people to you. And I hope you are a leader who loves people.

I am excited for the next leg of our journey as a family. You've been my baby for three years, and in just a few weeks you'll hand that title to your new sister, Eden. I will always cherish the season where you were my baby. I love the way you like to snuggle up to my belly and talk into my belly button to Baby Eden. You tell her how you are the big sister, you sing her songs, and you "baby talk" her, just like you do our dogs. You also pray for her without fail every night. You are going to be an amazing big sister. I can't wait to see you two girls, my two girls, together. And you are excited to tell EVERYONE that you and Eden have matching rainbow swimsuits.

Hope, I'm so proud of you. I'm proud of how you let your light shine. I'm proud of your confidence and bravery. And I'm proud that you never let fear keep you from doing life. I am honored to be your mom, and even though mistakes are inevitable for us both, I will always love you. God gave me exactly what I needed when he gave me you. You will always be my big girl. I love you so much more than words can express. Happy third birthday.

Love,
Momma

Milk Comes From Cows!

My darling preschoolers bring me so much joy and laughter. There are a hundred funny and joyful moments during any given today. This sweet little conversation was the "gem of wisdom" for today.

The scene takes place in my music class with a precocious group of three-year-olds.

Tyler: Miss Mindy. Do you have a baby in your tummy?
Me: Yes! I'm going to have a little girl named Eden. She'll be here around Thanksgiving time.
Sam: Miss Mindy, whatcha gonna feed your baby?
Me: I'll feed her milk.
Sam: Oh, from your breast?
Me: (Flustered, not wanting to explain breast feeding during music time) Um....well..... I'll be feeding her...er,um, mommy milk....from my......body.
Presley: (Exasperated) Sam! (Rolling eyes) Milk comes from cows, silly!

 

 

Gotta love innocence, and correct anatomical vocabulary.



3rd Trimester News

Eight weeks ago we received the news that our new little one is a girl. All major body systems and measurements were in perfect, healthy working condition.  We also received news of placenta prévia that was blocking my cervix, presenting a risk of hemorrhage to me if a normal, vaginal delivery were to take place. And lastly, we learned that an echogenic intracardiac focus (EIF) was present in Eden's heart. An EIF presents no risk to Eden's health, but basically tells us there is a 1% chance that she could have a chromosomal abnormality, most likely Downs Syndrome. 

Today we had the fourth, and what I thought would be final ultrasound. We found out great things: 

* Eden is still a girl. I've had crazy pregnancy dreams that I've given birth to a boy, and the occasional puppy. I've never had an ultrasound this late in a pregnancy, so when a tech tells me a gender, I nod and trust them, but today I clearly saw lady parts. It's a girl!!!

* I found out that my little lady currently weighs 2.7 pounds, and is measuring perfectly for a December 2nd due date. 

* Baby girl is flexible! She had her foot on her forehead for part of the ultrasound. She will be the next Shannon Miller, look out world!

* She has hair! So far I've given birth to Isaac's skullet, and Hope's sweet little cue ball head. Maybe this is my chance to have a baby that has thick hair. 

* She looks like Hope. The ultrasound tech turned on the 4D and let us see her. She was so sweet. Her big sister squealed about how cute she was, and I reacted as I usually do- with happy tears.



* Isaac was mostly enamored with the blue gel on my tummy. "Mom! I really like that blue goo on your tummy!" He said excitedly. 

* My placenta moved to a safe 3cm away from the opening of my cervix, and Eden is head down, which means that I can proceed with my heart's desire of a normal delivery. Thank you Jesus. 

* Despite a healthy heart rate of 144 the EIF was still present. It was not as bright as bone tissue and was not as bright as before- both good signs. Often an EIF will stay until birth, but it will sometimes disappear in the third trimester. But the fact that it is still there has earned me another ultrasound in four weeks. I'm praying A) that it is gone, B) that if it still present that it is not a sign of any issue, C) that God will prepare my heart and my family if there is an issue. Regardless, I believe that Eden is exactly as God wants her to be, and if Downs is part of his great plan for her then I  honored that He chose our family for her. We all love her so much already. And I'm grateful that there is no threat to her health or life. There's a 99% chance that all is fine. Good odds if you ask me. 

All in all, it was a great encouraging visit. I can't believe that she'll be here in 12 weeks or less. We're so excited to hold her, kiss her, and make her part of us. If you would please pray that God would take care of Eden's EIF and give us faith and courage as we wait to meet her. 

Hiccups

This tiny little girl in my tummy, that I've yet to lay eyes on, except through some grainy ultrasound pictures, learned a new trick this week and has been performing it after dinner.

She hiccups.

Having been pregnant 6 times and carried 2 babies full term I have come to love the bouncing of a wiggly baby with hiccups in my belly. It is a sweet, comforting feeling. Something both foreign and familiar all rolled into one. It is one of the things I will miss when I cross the finish line of child bearing.

I've never felt any of my babies hiccup this early in any pregnancy, in fact I've never felt any of my babies move as early as I've felt Eden. I thought it was odd that the flutters of early pregnancy happened so soon, but just chalked it up to the fact that I know what I'm feeling because I've been pregnant so many times in recent years.

And then last week I had my ultrasound. I found answers. Mostly good ones. A few that I'm trusting God to take care of.

The ultrasound revealed several things:

1) I am having a sweet baby girl. She's already very lady-like. She kept her legs crossed almost the entire time. I got scared thinking she was never going to shows us her tiny baby parts. But alas, she did, and she is a she.

2) The ultrasound tech estimated that Eden is 2 ounces heavier than the average at this stage in development. This thrills me because I have always wanted a chubby, rolly poly baby. I love my two little string beans but Eden may be the child that gives me the chub I've always dreamed of. Stay chunky, baby girl.

3) My placenta is low and in the back. Therefore I am able to feel everything (like freakishly early hiccups) due to less cushion between my body and the baby. This also earned me a bonus ultrasound. The placenta can grow and move as pregnancy progresses, but if it doesn't then I could be at risk for placenta previa, which could or could not cause complications like (bed rest or c-section) at the end of my pregnancy. The same thing happened with Hope, and it moved. I am praying for the same thing this time.

4) EIF- Echogenic Intracardiac Focus- what the crap is that? It is basically a bright spot that shows up in the heart during ultrasound. It is very common, happening in an estimated 1 in 30 second trimester ultrasounds. When it is an isolated issue like mine, meaning no other abnormalities are present, there is usually no cause for concern. Most doctors don't do any follow up testing. It is considered a variation of normal. My doctor said that in his practice, he's never seen an isolated case of EIF result in a baby with any kind of issue. He said that on a freak out scale of 1 to 10 that this is maybe a 1. There is some debate among researchers that in a worst case scenario situation that EIF could be a risk factor for Down's Syndrome. I hope I've made a good case for why this will all be ok, but it is scary when your tiny baby's heart looks weird. There's a good chance that the EIF will not go away until delivery, so it may still be present at the next ultrasound, but again, I am choosing to literally leave Eden's heart in God's hands. He is her creator and maker, her form isn't hidden from Him, He loves her and sees her, and as I feel her little bouncy hiccups on the outside, he fully knows every cell and mechanism. I pray that it is nothing, but if it is something, I pray that God will prepare me to handle it. I will love Eden regardless, I already do.

So I praise Him. For the chance to feel Eden in my womb. For the potentially chubby little body He gave her. For the placenta that will keep her safe and fed until the day we meet. And for her little heart that I already pray will be filled with love for her Savior.

And for the hiccups. The reassurance that she's ok. That something normal is happening. And that for this season and this moment that I get to share it with her, just the two of us. Thank you Jesus. Thank you for the hiccups that help us to trust you even more.

4: A Letter to My Big Boy

My Sweet Isaac,

Someday, many years from now, you'll look back on your life. If you are like me, it will naturally divide itself into very distinct chapters.

Less Than 2 Weeks Old You.

My chapters look like this:

Chapter 1: My Childhood: Mullets, Music, and Magic
Chapter 2: And Then There Was Ryland....
Chapter 3: College, Marriage, and Teaching
Chapter 4: The Infertility Fog
Chapter 5: God Gave Me You
Chapter 6: Tunia, the One Month Whirlwind
Chapter 7: (TBA, In Progress, Under Construction)

Beautiful new you.

6 -Month-Old, Sitting-Up, You.

 

9-Month-Old, Crawling, You.

Chapter 6, your chapter started exactly 4 years ago. I spent a day in labor with you amazing Dad. We had waited for years and figuratively climbed deserts and swam oceans to get to that sweet day. Then you came. Angels danced and a waiting room full of praying family members rejoiced. Years of saddness melted away for me, and you were one of the greatest gifts in my life.

1st Birthday, Cupcake Face, You.

I cannot believe that I've taken 4 rides around the sun with you. I will treasure those sweet first weeks and months of your life where my joy was to sit and hold you and talk to you for hours. What a gift it was as I watched you roll, sit up, crawl, walk, run! The sweetest music was the first "momma" you spoke. As you discovered your first books, tastes of food, movies, and friendships, you brought me along and I got to experience the thrill of rediscovering them with you.

20-Month-Old, Halloween Costume, You.

And now you are spelling words, recognizing and writing letters, loving your friends, playing sports, and growing. Your love for God and tender heart for people is inspiring. You love bigger than anyone I've ever known.

2-Year-Old, Painfully Cute, You.

 

You are excited about everything. You enjoy everything and make the best out of every situation. Sometimes you ask deep questions, and understand things far beyond your years. You are a constant reminder of God's goodness, and not a day goes by that I am not thankful that God chose me (ME!) to be your Mom. No one deserves a child as wonderful as you, but I am glad for the opportunity.

2-and-a-half, Silly, You.

My prayer for you is that you will be brave, that you will love God more than anything, and that you will become more and more like God as you grow. I pray that your innocence will stick for a LOOONG time, that life won't make you jaded, that you won't worry about the small stuff. I hope you'll find a girl that loves you (almost as much as me) and that you'll love her and care for you just like your Dad does for me. Speaking of your Dad- you already love music and are a song-bird like him. You are sweet like him. And you have the cutest little tushkin just like him. (Go ahead, be embarrassed, someone has to preserve your history!)

3rd Birthday, First Friend Party, You.

Isaac, I love you more than you'll ever know. I love that you are the one that made a Mom out of me 4 years ago. I love that I am the receipient of all of the hugs, questions, and memories, that will form your Chapter 1. It is an honor that I take seriously, I hope I help you to write it well.

You. 2 Weeks Ago. Perfect.

I hope that someday that my Chapter 6 ends with "......and he changed the world." My big boy, no longer a baby, I believe you can.

Love , Momma

New Years Expectations

I bet she doesn't even realize what an impact this had on me.

My SIL, Jilian, is a pretty amazing lady. She was the top selling realtor in her company last year, is a mother of three, and is a crazy talented singer. And between this, she sometimes drops out helpful life tidbits that change people's lives.

She told me several lifetimes ago how she and her husband wrote new years expectations for their family that was much smaller then. I don't know if their family still does that. But as I thought it over, I think that an expectation for yourself is much more powerful than an easily broken resolution.

Last year my hubby and I did this and hung our carefully handwritten on notebook paper list in our closet where we'd each see it everyday. We set goals for ourselves, "us" goals, and goals for each of our kids. When we'd reach a goal, I'd write the month we achieved it and mark it off of the list. We marked most items off, but there were a few that we let slide.

When I write my expectations, my inner teacher comes out. I think back to all the time I was asked to write SMART goals as an educator. SMART goals are goals that are Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic, and Time-bound. I tried to stick to this as I wrote my hopes for this year.

I don't feel that it's my place to share my hubby's goals but here is a (slightly) edited list of some of our goals for 2013. Again, this is not all- just a select few that don't open us up for as much judgement.

Here are some of mine:
1) Meal Plan a month at a time. January is hanging on my fridge as we speak. Check.
2) Blog once weekly, or roughly 52 times this year.
3) Run another 5K.
4) Memorize a new verse every month this year. I'm starting with Micah 6:8- "He has shown you, oh mortal, what is good. And what does the Lord require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God.

We:
1) Are really praying that this year will be the year we become totally debt free. All we lack is some (stupid) medical debt.
2) Want to vacation again this year. It was too wonderful last year, not to mention great for the ole marriage.
3) Want to go on at least 15 dates this year. Very ambitious.

Isaac:
1) Learn to recognize every letter of the alphabet and number. He knows some, but my teacher heart wants more!

Hope:
OK, I lied. I'm sharing one of Ry's.
1) He wants to take Hope on a planned, monthly Daddy date. How sweet is that? How lucky is Hope?

Again, these are a few of a list of roughly 28 goals. I'm hoping that we end the year with a list full of highlighted items. But I also know that God could always have bigger and better plans. I'm optimistic about 2013. I hope you are too.

Do you make any resolutions? Goals? Expectations? If so, what are they?

2012 Russell Family Digital Christmas Card- the Late Edition

I usually post an end of year wrap up on my blog before Christmas as a "Russell Family Digital Christmas Card". And I usually do it before Christmas , but at the moment it is December 26 and I am in the car on my way to see my hubby's family in Chickasha. It has been a wonderfully busy Christmas season and I haven't had the time to sit and formulate ideas like I wanted to. As I have stated several times, my intent for my blog is to be a gift and a chronicle to my kids. The end of year letter is the "Cliff's Notes" version of each year, so it is important to me to finish it.


This makes me want to cry. She was so tiny in January!

A brother/sister moment.

A midwinter zoo trip.

January - We rang in the new year at home with my Mom and Dad. I tried my best to re-create some of my favorite dishes from the now defunct Bahama Breeze in OKC. I made jerk chicken pasta, Cuban bread, chocolate tres leches, and Mimi Cyndi's mandarin orange salad. I started the year with my sweet but still-in-diapers boy and my tiny, baby, pacifier sucking, barely walking/talking, diaper wearing baby girl. Ryland and I did something different this year with our New Years resolutions. We wrote family expectations. We wrote personal goals, marriage goals, and goals for our kids. Happily, we reached many of them and we made great progress towards many others. Being the visual person that I am, I highlighted/marked off each goal as we reached it. At year's end, I am happy to report that there are more things highlighted and marked off than left blank. The kids both had yucky ear infections most of this month which resulted in many doctor's visits and bills.

Tunia's surgery with her happy napper and paci.

Isaac cried when he found out we couldn't keep his tiger gown.

My husband indoctrinating our children early.

February- My honey turned 28 and my baby boy turned 3. We celebrated Isaac's birthday with an indoor pool party with his best buddies and we took our annual trip to Arkansas to celebrate with Mimi and Poppy. Isaac and Hope both received new tubes & lost their adenoids within 5 days of each other. That was not fun, but we were so glad to see them have relief after months of ear infections and the sickies.


Isaac grew out his stache for his party, but we made him shave it.

Isaac and his buddies at his party.


The birthday boy at Aunt C's homecoming.

 

March- We happily marked off several New Years Expectations! My Isaac finally became potty trained. We were overjoyed that after several hard-fought days he decided to be a big boy. He did great and has had very few accidents. We also paid off our last car in an effort to be completely debt free. Mimi, Poppy, Aunt Hilary, and Uncle Hayden came to visit us and we got to take Hil and Hay to see the Hunger Games on opening night. Isaac also started his first season of soccer. He did more sitting & flower picking than scoring and assisting but he looked adorable in his white sweatband and cleats. Hopey quit the paci for good. She really quit being a baby after this, she literally started speaking in complete sentences.

My soccer star.

April- I reached a personal goal by completing my first 5K. I finished at a time that was better than what I anticipated, and it felt great! We had our annual Easter service at Central and as usual, I was so proud of my husband's creativity and God given gift of leading others in worship.

First "tigtails".

May- It was the end of the kids & my school year at GCK. We left on the last day of school to celebrate the retirement of my sweet friend, Donna Burkey, and to attend high school graduation parties for our cousins/greatly loved ones- Dana, Carly, Jordan, Mary Ann, Mary Kathleen and we had to miss Brittany's but we love her too!

Mothers Day gifts.

June- Daddy left for a few weeks of camp season and the kids and I enjoyed summer session at GCK. We spent lots of time swimming at Miss Ash-a-ley's house and being lazy. We overnighted at KMAK with Daddy and grieved when our beloved OKC Thunder lost the NBA title to the Miami Heat.

Big girl bed.

The sweetest picture of Hope and her Daddy.

The big boy bed.

July- We celebrated Independence Day at the Kaiser Hood Pig Roast. Our friends Jase and Riley joined us two days a week to play. We spent a week at Greers Ferry in Arkansas with both sides of Ryland's family. We did a lot of boating, swimming, eating, and just being together.

Dock time.

Cousins at breakfast.

August- I got a wild hair and cleaned out and re-organized every closet, cabinet, and drawer in the house. It took the whole month. Geesh. I had a nasty case of strep throat. Yuck. We moved Hopey from her crib to a toddler bed, and Isaac from a toddler bed to a big bunk bed. My cousin Riann and her husband Trent, and big brother Parker welcomed their gorgeous baby girl, Karla "Sloan" at the end of the month. Isaac and Hope were immediately smitten with baby "Fwoan".

September- The kids and I packed our backpacks and headed back to school. The kids loved their teachers and were excited to be back with their friends. Sadly we lost our precious Pawpa Kenneth to a very rare brain disease. We miss him dearly but we are so thankful that we know that we will see him again someday. The theme of his life was quiet service to those who had needs. He gave generously of his time, talents, and treasure, and was truly the hands and feet of God. He is one of the kindest men I've ever known. I'm so proud that I had the privilege to marry into and raise a new generation of his legacy.

Us.

First day of school.

First day of school.

We miss you Kenneth.

October- My tiny, spicy, fun, little rinka (princess) turned 2. We celebrated with a pumpkin patch party with some of her dear friends. And I turned 29 again. Ok, I turned 30. My husband took me to Galveston where we boarded a cruise ship, set sail for Cozumel, and spent 4 glorious days on the ocean. It had been nearly 4 years since we had spent more than 1 night alone together and I had no idea how much I missed Ryland Russell, my best friend. At home we are so often mom, dad, music guy, preschool teacher, fixer, diaper changer, cook-er, clean-er, do-er. It was refreshing to be us, the old us, the us who fell in love and had a history before kids and jobs and lives. For the record, we are insanely thankful for the kids, jobs, and lives that we have, but a respite gave us time to reconnect, clear our minds, and come home refreshed. It was just what we needed. I'm sad we didn't do it sooner! We came home to our pukey boy. And a week later my sweet hubby planned a surprise party for me with some of my very best people. I was loved into my 30's for sure. We celebrated Halloween as grapes ( Ryland and I ) and the kids were Buzz Lightyear and Baby Buzz.



Cinderella and Grapes.

 

Hope's birthday hayride.

 

Hope's birthday cook-in

 

Me and my boyfriend.

 

Buzz and Baby Buzz.

November- I spent the first weekend in November helping my parents to move my baby brother to San Antonio. When the lovely (and by lovely I mean completely horrible) moving company, All Star Movers didn't do what they said they would do, we ended up having fun anyways. We're Harmons, that's what we do. At the Russell house we decked our halls early. The kids helped and absolutely loved having our home draped in the colors of the season. We spent Thanksgiving with all four sides of our families and came home stuffed, loved, and exhausted. My little girl came home and decided that she was over diapers and promptly potty trained herself. No joke. She started "going" on her own, has had very few accidents, and even stays dry most nights. I am simultaneously weirded out and completely amazed. Way to go baby! Her determination served her well this time. My sweet hubby went in to high gear with his preparations for our church Christmas musical.

Random, every day antics from these two.

December- December is always a marathon month for us. Holiday parties, family gatherings, Christmas musical, and other little fun bits. We loved watching "the Grunch", "necorating" Christmas trees in the kids rooms, and getting deliveries from our elf Sherry, to put in our nativity. Our church's Christmas musical was my husband's best ever. Everything was perfect from the music, to the special effects, the drama, the videography, it was amazing. You can watch it here: http://vimeo.com/55698999 . My preschool music program was the next week. The highlight was a 27 piece nativity made entirely of pre-k cuties as the sang a song called "Was He a Boy Like Me". Ryland and I took the kids to visit Santa at Bass Pro Shop. Isaac asked for a "whiting mckeen gi-tawr" and new Toy Story friends, Hope wanted "Anastic Inastics Dora". We ended the evening with a visit to the lights at Rhema and dinner at Teds. We attended the Owasso Christmas parade. We had parties with our staff, choir, Sunday school class, polar express at the preschool,and then had Christmas celebrations with (deep breath) ... The Harmon's at the Scully's, the Russell/Gardners at our House, the Clapp's at the Upton's, the Harmon's at my parents, and the stinking stupid snow that wasn't bad except for where we were headed delayed us for a day but then we celebrated with Gram Rosie at her place, and the Russell/Rose/Allen/ Burruss families at Angie's. I returned home with my husband, kids, a mountain of gifts, and a bad cold. Santa brought my kids all they wanted and even though it is a lot, and is rushed, we are so thankful that we have so many beloved family members that want to spend time with us. It is wonderful. And my kids are so blessed with family that adores them.

My favorite Christmas picture of '12.

The Russell babies with Mimi and Poppy.

Christmas eve with Jeje and Pawpa.

2012 has been a peaceful year. There have been some sad and stressful moments, but it has mostly been a season of good health, happy marriage, and uneventful life. I know that in the years where life has been stressful and hard that my character and faith have been strengthened, but in a year where there has been rest and sabbath I have been made keenly aware of how sweet and blissful the small moments are. God is in the small stuff- kids potty training, snuggling, dishes, laundry, running, pre-school, and vacations. The small stuff, and our gratitude for it, are just as important as the monumental life changers to God. He is in it all, He doesn't miss a thing, and it all passes through his hands. For that I am thankful.

 

I am finishing the editing process today: December 30, 2012. Less than 48 hours from 2013. I have no idea what my future holds. I have no idea what my letter will say this time next year, if I am blessed enough to be here to write it in a year. I hope it says that we prayerfully considered buying a home, that we are somewhere in a continuum of bringing a new person into our family (not an announcement- just a hope at the moment), that my kids and husband are healthy and well, and that I know then just as I know now that God is good, He is for me, and He loves you and I, whoever "you" may be.

Dear friends, God bless you in 2013. I pray that you'd find something in every day and hour and minute to be thankful for. I guarantee that you won't have to look far.

 Merry Late Christmas and Happy Early New Year.

From Me and My Forever Boyfriend.