You're Not Cool Unless You Pee Your Pants
Between twitter and facebook, I have around 995 friends.
Some would consider me to be pretty popular. (Ha ha ha)
So last night when I thought my water broke, I made the announcement as anyone in the digital generation would have. I posted this as my twitter/facebook status: "According to the puddle on my floor- I'm having a baby! Holy cow!" I was so excited to share my joy with my closest friends!
Before this, I was standing next to the sink, getting a drink when I was suddenly standing in liquid. What else was I to assume when this happened? I thought that my moment had arrived. It was 10:15pm, Ryland and I went into action and enacted our plan. I showered, we finished packing, Isaac's supervision arrived, and we joyfully headed to the hospital to welcome our long awaited baby girl.
We arrived about 11:20, got to skip triage and went straight to a labor and delivery room. My vitals were checked, and as any thorough nurse would, we did a test to be sure that I had, in fact, "ruptured". How could I not be? An unexplained puddle on the floor, 9 and 1/2 months preggo, how could it be anything else?
First test, negative. Second test, negative. Third test: negative. Three strikes and they send your tired, pregnant, butt home.
Discharge papers signed. My heart broken that I would be pregnant for another day. And the knowledge that I had posted for nearly 1,000 people that I had peed my pants. Not to mention caused sleep loss for my friends and family- which could be dangerous. And it was 1:15am, not a good time to be me in general.
As we were leaving, Ryland did what he does when he's uncomfortable- he tried to make me laugh. As we were walking out he muttered "we're doing the walk of shame" underneath his breath. He also let me know that RevKev was trying to find a new nickname for me since "preggo" will be moot in a few days, and he thought that this situation would be very advantageous for RevKev.
So we got in the car. I cried a little and hatched a plot to go into hiding until Hope is born and play off this whole debacle. But then I put on my big girl pants, and an adult diaper, and decided to suck it up. I am not the first mommy this has happened to. I will deal with the shame and the name calling. And I will pray that Hope comes soon.
According to Billy Madison, "You're not cool unless you pee your pants." This is my mantra.
And when I give birth to Hope she is grounded. I haven't peed my pants in years. This is her fault, after all.
That's my story and I'm sticking to it.
3 comments:
Oh goodness, poor you! Positives: you had a test-run on your action plan for when the real day arrives; you had a late night 'date' with just you and your hubby that you probably won't have for awhile after Hope arrives; you have a freaking awesome story to tell for years and years; you'll (maybe) always win arguments with Hope, because you can play the "you made me pee my pants" card.
Did that help? Probably not. But thanks for sharing this story...! ;) Here's hoping she comes SOON!
Total stranger who happened upon your blog for the first time- I am also very pregnant (due next week). Yesterday in the kitchen a left a huge puddle, which also turned out to be urine, not amniotic fluid. I had just peed like 10 minutes before. I was disappointed, but then really quite amused. How funny is it to pee your pants as a grown up!
Mindy, I think you are absolutely hysterical. I love this story and although I will remain vague about when the last time I peed my pants was, I too am cool in Billy Madison's eyes. :)
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