Long Overdue

Sometimes it takes a snowday to be able to form a coherent thought. Much less write it out. So here are some brief thoughts/updates as of late.

1) The house- Are you sick to death of me blogging about it yet? I am too. But praise God, we are under contract & pending an inspection Friday we will finally have it sold. This has without a doubt been the most challenging financial/spiritual/ emotional/ pride shattering situation I have encountered in a long time. We dropped our price $12,000, we will not make a penny on the sale of our home, and we have lost every cent we have ever invested into it. God has used many from our church to provide for us when there has been no other way we could make it. It is insanely humbling to have to ask for help, but I am so grateful that we have had church family members that will stand up for us, even though the price has been great. You know who you are. Thank you for standing in the gap for us. There is something gut wrenching about needing financial help. My heart has been humbled and God's provsion through individuals has been sweet beyond measure.

(Post script- inspection went well except for some cracks that the inspector wants a structural engineer to look at. We are praying that they are cosmetic, or else we will be throwing more money we don't have at this house!)

2) Isaacs singing voice- My son has found his voice. He loves to sing with his shows- Barney, Diego, Dora, Elmo- he sings with all of them. As his music teacher at school I also get to watch him learn the songs and motions to the songs I learned as a kid, as well as some new ones. He really likes a song called "We Are the Dinosaurs" where we march, eat our food, take a nap, and roar. As a Dino lover, it's right up his alley.

3) Milestones- My "not such a baby" boy turns two in 2 weeks. That means his age is no longer measured in months. That means that all traces of "baby" are gone. That means that he is one step closer to kindergarten, his high school diploma, getting his doctorate, and leaving me forever. I miss him already. Waaaaaaaa! Maybe I'm getting ahead of myself a little- I guess I'll let myself worry about that a little more once he's potty trained.

Speaking of milestones, my beautiful little daughter is somehow 3 months old already. How on earth is that possible? She smiles, giggles, holds her head up, and melts my heart. Everything about her makes me proud. I am so grateful that God gave me a daughter. I am thinking of piercing her ears now while I can easily clean them & let them heal without her grubby little hands touching them. I might regret this but- thoughts & opinions? I intend to research it with my pediatrician as well as my pal google.

4) Disneyworld- Ryland's wonderful grandma, Mary Russell Rose, invited us to go on an all expense (and I mean all!) paid vacation to Disneyworld. We rode with 40 family members to & from Orlando, Florida in a charter bus and spent 5 truly magical days at Disneyworld. I loved getting a vacation. We hadn't been on a REAL vacation in so long. I have good intentions of posting pics soon, but here are a few mental picture I will never forget:
* Seeing my kids love on & play with their cousins
* Isaac's first big boy ride- the triceratops ride at Animal Kingdom
* Isaac meeting Oso and Handy Manny
* Going out in the freezing cold with 5 little ones and spending a wonderful morning with Mimi, Poppy, and the Gardners
* Isaac's first 3D movie
It was amazing. I will never be able to thank Gram Mary and Tom for the memories that I will always carry of my kids.

5) Oh Lardy- After Isaac was born I lost all of my baby weight pretty quickly with very little effort. Hope is now 3 months old and I have only lost a little over half. I am not feeling very cute. And honestly I haven't tried very hard. I need to get serious & put down the Oreos. I think the stress of the last few months has made me hungry & hopefully my stress appetite will disappear with the Guthrie house.

6) Back to You- As I established a few posts back, my blog is my honest attempt to leave a legacy to my children and to chronicle what God has done for me. In any relationship with God or man, there are valleys and mountaintops. Sadly, the last few months have been a valley of my own makings. I have been far from where I need to be. I have been out of God's word, my prayers have been shallow, and I have been practicing my favorite sin of telling God how I want things to go. Sometimes He says no, and sometimes He gives me exactly what I want- which isn't always for my own good. One of the great thyings about being God's child is that if you are truly his- he will always call you back. Well, I am listening. I started a new bible study by Beth Moore called "Stepping Up" it deals with the psalms of ascent which are psalms written about a pilgrimmage to Jerusalem and the many fears, anxieties, and blessings along the way. I think it has not come at a more perfect time in my life. This whole year has been a pilgrimage for me. And as I said, I try so hard to find help and answers on my own but I am learning again, as if for the first time- "my help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth." Beth challenged me during this study to daily get on my face before God. I am rediscovering the power we have in prayer and the freedom in submitting to God's will. I am finding joy that has sadly been abesent for far to long.

7) Health Insurance- Another topic that has been the cause of much anxiety. I have finally found something that I think will work. If you have been rejected by 2 or more health insurance carriers on the basis of pre-existing conditions and cannot be added to a group policy (me!) then the state of Oklahoma offers insurance through the Oklahoma high risk pool. It is a little more expensive and not a phenominal plan, but it is insurance! I am working through the application process and am thankful that this many months long struggle is about to be over!

Thank you sweet blogosphere, for listening. My heart has been heavy, my joy has been absent, and I am not out of the woods yet. But I am facing whatever happens next in the arms of my protector who does not sleep or slumber, and who has not forgotten or missed one detail of the hard things we have lived through. I ask that you would pray for us over the next weeks that we can finally be free of our old house and that God would provide financially and fill in all the holes where we have needs.