6 Month Update

It's because I hit the six month mark tomorrow, not because it will take 6 months to read...

Here I am, a mere 16 weeks away from mommyhood. I am so thrilled, excited, scared, eager, but mostly madly in love. I started crying the other day, (SHOCKER, I know) because I suddenly realized how much my Mom loves me. I underestimated the power of a mother's love. I didn't realize that it would be quite so all encompassing and far reaching. If Isaac comes out and is breathing and has a heartbeat everything else is negotiable. I don't care if he is ugly, disfigured, mean, stinky, or chronically ill. I couldn't possibly love him any more than I do, because he is MINE, A gift that God entrusted to undeserving me. The depth of my gratitude grows deeper with every baby stretch and sweet kick to the bladder, which happens to be Isaac's new favorite game. Mom, I finally get it. Thank you for loving me like you do even though it took me 26 years for me to get the "eyes" needed to see it clearly, even though they happen to be in my belly. :)

I think it also brings me a little bit closer to understanding the way that God loves us. I am not a being capable of creation on its own, but I am an instrument in the process, and just knowing that I am aiding in something so alive and so unique makes me want nothing but good and blessings for him all the days of his life. I even found myself praying that God would prevent him from ever experiencing any pain. But after I thought about it, I would be worthless if life handed me roses all the time. My pain has been good for my character, it has softened my heart to others and grown compassion in me. I don't want Isaac to hurt, but I pray that God puts a kind heart in him, even if his pain is going to hurt me.

Needless to say, motherhood is already an emotional job, even though I am not an official mom yet.

I see Dr. K on Wednesday the 22nd for a diagnostic ultrasound. I am so excited to see my sweet boy again. It will be the last time before I see his face for real. I just hope that when he is born I will be able to see through my tears. I can't imagine having dry eyes at the moment when so many prayers will be answered in flesh and blood....... I'm crying just thinking about it. Please pray that all goes well and that my sweet Isaac is as healthy and strong as he appears to be.

I have another exciting prayer request. After talking with my caseworker last month, I asked her to only sign us up for individual kids to adopt. This month there are 2 little individual boys up for adoption. There is a four year old named Malakai (like Malachai, the book in the bible), and a one year old name Treeshon (Tray-shawn). I am very excited by this possibility. Of course there is good chance that we won't even be considered for these boys but according to several people, they believe that Gurt might get here before Isaac, so who knows? I love the idea of Isaac having a big brother. We are open to whatever plan God has for building our family. It is scary to think that we could get two at one time, but God has clearly lead us here and we trust that he will not lead us astray now or ever. Please pray for these two boys, that God will bless them with a wonderful forever family where they will be adopted and loved forever. And pray for our Gurt- whoever he or she may be, that God will bring them into our life at the appointed time.

Keep us in your prayers as we wait for God's blessings. Thank you for the love and support, as always.

Mindy

I'm Not Dead

Greetings Friends and Family.

I'm still here.

I have a GEEKY confession to make. I have not blogged in a long while because I have been rushing home and going straight to a book series that has had me hooked like a heroin addict since Labor Day weekend. I have been reading the "Twilight" series by Stephenie Meyer. They are about a mortal who falls in love with a vampire and then there is a love triangle with a werewolf and then the vampire government gets all bent out of shape, etc. etc. Before you judge my nerdiness, go check them out. I guarantee you will be hooked. That, or you will lose all respect for my taste in books. They are endorsed by my friend, Dr. Aub. She thinks they are good and she has a big degree. Good enough for me!

I went to the doctor today for my monthly check-up. My blood pressure was a tiny bit elevated, but the nurse told me it was probably due to the cold medicine I took this morning. I also gained 8 POUNDS. Granted, I have been eating like a truck driver. I feel hungry all the time and I get hungry for things like cheeseburgers and funfetti cake, not steamed veggies and broiled fish. But I am going to try and slow down, though I don't think Isaac minds. He always gives me happy kicks after I eat. I want to make him happy! It's not about me. :)

Speaking of my sweet Isaac, Ryland felt him kick for the first time a few weeks ago. I was laying on the couch and Isaac became my little ninja boy. He was kicking so hard! I told Ryland to come over and I pressed his hand to the spot. Isaac, of course, got very still. I talked to him though and asked him to kick for his Daddy. He obediently kicked Ryland's hand about three times. Since then it has become a nightly routine for Ryland to talk to him and for him to kick Ryland. I think he likes his Daddy's voice. He always responds to it. It is so precious to already see my boys bonding. All the books are telling me to keep exposing Isaac to noises that he will hear outside the womb like a vacuum cleaner and barking dogs so that he won't get startled. The barking dogs are easy, I've got three of those. Vacuuming though.... I need to do that more.

I have a Gurt update that makes me sad. I got a call from Maggie, our caseworker, yesterday. She told me that Ryland and I had been selected to move forward in pursuit of a sibling group of three: Twin boys-age 1 and a girl- age 3. I just cried. 6 months ago this would have been my dream come true. Perfect ages. Perfect everything. I told Maggie that we were expecting Isaac in a few months and that we really only have room for one more here in the Russell house. It broke my heart to be so close to what we wanted and have to say no. I know in my heart that these weren't the kids for us, but I am so ready for Gurt to be here. And to be that close and yet so far was just hard. Maggie will still be signing us up for kids, but just one. And I am praying that OUR Gurt will be here in God's perfect timing.

I will be taking maternity pics in a few weeks. I will post a few when we get them back. I am doing them with Ashley Ofosu, a friend of mine since college who is married to another "old" friend of our, Ray Ofosu. She also took Danna and Jim's wedding photos. You can check her stuff out at http://ashleyophotos.blogspot.com/ . She is insanely talented and hopefully she can make a chubby belly look cute.

I think you are all caught up now. Please keep my Isaac and Gurt in your prayers and also pray for their overeating Momma and sweet Daddy. I love you all and I am enjoying this sweet time that I believe is leading to an even sweeter time.

Mindy