6 Month Update

It's because I hit the six month mark tomorrow, not because it will take 6 months to read...

Here I am, a mere 16 weeks away from mommyhood. I am so thrilled, excited, scared, eager, but mostly madly in love. I started crying the other day, (SHOCKER, I know) because I suddenly realized how much my Mom loves me. I underestimated the power of a mother's love. I didn't realize that it would be quite so all encompassing and far reaching. If Isaac comes out and is breathing and has a heartbeat everything else is negotiable. I don't care if he is ugly, disfigured, mean, stinky, or chronically ill. I couldn't possibly love him any more than I do, because he is MINE, A gift that God entrusted to undeserving me. The depth of my gratitude grows deeper with every baby stretch and sweet kick to the bladder, which happens to be Isaac's new favorite game. Mom, I finally get it. Thank you for loving me like you do even though it took me 26 years for me to get the "eyes" needed to see it clearly, even though they happen to be in my belly. :)

I think it also brings me a little bit closer to understanding the way that God loves us. I am not a being capable of creation on its own, but I am an instrument in the process, and just knowing that I am aiding in something so alive and so unique makes me want nothing but good and blessings for him all the days of his life. I even found myself praying that God would prevent him from ever experiencing any pain. But after I thought about it, I would be worthless if life handed me roses all the time. My pain has been good for my character, it has softened my heart to others and grown compassion in me. I don't want Isaac to hurt, but I pray that God puts a kind heart in him, even if his pain is going to hurt me.

Needless to say, motherhood is already an emotional job, even though I am not an official mom yet.

I see Dr. K on Wednesday the 22nd for a diagnostic ultrasound. I am so excited to see my sweet boy again. It will be the last time before I see his face for real. I just hope that when he is born I will be able to see through my tears. I can't imagine having dry eyes at the moment when so many prayers will be answered in flesh and blood....... I'm crying just thinking about it. Please pray that all goes well and that my sweet Isaac is as healthy and strong as he appears to be.

I have another exciting prayer request. After talking with my caseworker last month, I asked her to only sign us up for individual kids to adopt. This month there are 2 little individual boys up for adoption. There is a four year old named Malakai (like Malachai, the book in the bible), and a one year old name Treeshon (Tray-shawn). I am very excited by this possibility. Of course there is good chance that we won't even be considered for these boys but according to several people, they believe that Gurt might get here before Isaac, so who knows? I love the idea of Isaac having a big brother. We are open to whatever plan God has for building our family. It is scary to think that we could get two at one time, but God has clearly lead us here and we trust that he will not lead us astray now or ever. Please pray for these two boys, that God will bless them with a wonderful forever family where they will be adopted and loved forever. And pray for our Gurt- whoever he or she may be, that God will bring them into our life at the appointed time.

Keep us in your prayers as we wait for God's blessings. Thank you for the love and support, as always.

Mindy