This week coincidence (or God, perhaps?) brought a song to my memory that I hadn't thought of in YEARS. Like, since junior high. I downloaded it onto I-tunes on my new lappy and had a good listen and then a good cry. It was exactly what I so badly needed to hear right now in the midst of dealing with the following:
1) A new pregnancy
2) My hubby and I living apart for 6 weeks
3) My hubby's new job
4) Quitting my job
5) Leaving my home of nearly 9 years
6) Praying for our house to sell
7) Moving toward only one smaller income
(Are your freak out hormones raging like mine yet?)
8) Changing churches
9)Making new friends
10) Finding a new, affordable, decent home to live in
11) Being a psycho already even when things are sane in my life
12) Going from full time time career mommy to a very part time SAHM
13) Mother of one in diapers to mother of two in diapers
As you can see, I am struggling a bit. But as I listened to this song, there was a line that stuck out:
"I can't go with you
And stay where I am
So you move me "
The biggest blessings in my life have come out of obedience to God. I met Ryland after God asked me to break it off with a boy. I received a scholarship to UCO because I felt like God was leading me away from some others areas in high school and focusing me on leadership. I had Isaac after being obedient to God's call to trust him to build my family. God is at work and is moving all around in my life right now. Because He loves me He gives me a choice. I can stay in my safe little house, with my safe little job, and my safe little income. Or I can go with Him. After examining the last years of my life how can I come to any other conclusion. Going with Hiom is scary, its risky, and like therapy - there are truly no guarantees. But God has proven over and over that there are so many blessings waiting if I am obedient and I go with Him. So as he whistles in the dark and illuminates all the mysteries yet to be seen, I am choosing to follow with my heart- laughing all the way, even though there may be a few anxious tears in my eyes at the time.
If you actually go to my blog page, you can hear the song. If not, here are the lyrics.
You Move Me- Susan Ashton
This is how it seems to me
Life is only therapy
Real expensiveAnd no guarantee
So I lie here on the couch
With my heart hanging out
Frozen solid with fear
Like a rock in the ground
Oh but you move me
You give me courage
I didn't Know I had
You move me on
I can't go with you
And stay where I am
So you move me
Here is how love was to me
I could look and not see
Going through the emotions
Not knowin' what they mean
And it scared me so much
That I just wouldn't budge
I might have stayed there forever
If not for your touch
Oh but you move me
Out of myself and into the fire
You move me
Now I'm burning with love
And with hope and desire
How you move me
You go whistling in the dark
Making light of it
Making light of it
And I follow with my heart
Laughing all the way
Oh 'cause you move me
You get me dancing and youmake me sing
You move me
Now I'm taking delight
In every little thing
How you move me
Please keep me in your prayers during this season of change.
Happy note: We find out the sex of baby Russell #2 on May 22. Results will be posted here. Stay tuned!
Moving,
Mindy
Saturday, April 17, 2010
Friday, April 9, 2010
ADHD List
1. I am typing this post from my BRAND NEW LAPTOP!!!!! I cannot begin to tell you how flippin excited I am. I love it. It is pretty and black and shiny. And allegedly it is a really great computer. I don't do technology, so I trust my tech savvy hubby when he tells me things are good.
2. I have a new obsession. I know I am at least three years behind, but I have started following the pioneer woman's blog. For one thing, the background for all her stories take place in Bartlesville and Osage County. I can totally relate to all of her locational references. She recently talked about Murphy's Hot Hamburgers. My kinda girl. I just watched her on The View today via my new laptop. I love her. Maybe a little too much. Maybe a bit on the crazy obsessive fan way.
3. My hubby moves to Owasso in 5 days. I am freaking out a little bit. My house is not sold. There are some circumstances surrounding the move that I am less than thrilled with and I hate the idea that Isaac will not see his Daddy for 4 days out of each week. Please pray for us. Pray that God will sell our house SOON, that my life here as a single mom will be uneventful, that I will have peace, and that God will help (stubborn, hard-headed) me to be content in all our circumstances. And pray that the next 6 weeks will go FAST!!!
4. I could not possibly understand taxes any less than I do. Not by a long shot. The last 2 years, we were sure we would owe huge and we received in excess of $1300. This year after some hefty deductions such as a BABY, hospital & medical bills for a BABY, childcare credit for a BABY, and an ear tube surgery for the BABY, thousands and thousands of dollars- we owe. We owe only $270. Not a budget busting amount. But still, we owe. It may be my hormones or the fact that everything sound in my life is about to be stripped away, but I really would have liked to have a refund with a new baby coming, my future as a SAHM, and an impending move.
5. I am also 5 days away from my second trimester with this little cupcake growing in my belly. Ryland and I have chosen names for it that we really love and are looking forward to sharing them as soon as we find out the sex. Everything I read says that it is way too early but I really feel like I feel the little tator tot wiggling sometimes. Maybe it's just gas, but whatever it is, it is very reassuring. :)
6. How bout big Mike's kick off and save on Idol this week. Holy cow! Here's my top 4: Crystal, Big Mike, Casey, and Siobhan. What do you think?
7. I have a confession. I have shamefully, in secret, been playing a game called Papaya Farm on my i-phone. I didn't want to farm on facebook because I loathe/hate/detest getting 50 updates a day about people's farm. I understand their addiction, but I also don't want to alienate my friends. So I have been playing in secret. But thank God, I'm over it now. I am going to delete it from my phone soon. I think. Is there such a thing as free app hoarding? I think I just invented my own new mental illness.
8. To all my preggo buddies- If you do not have a bella band, you will be sorry. I have gotten fat so fast this time around. I haven't gained a pound but my belly is ginormous already. I am not fat enough for full on maternity pants, but I can't button my normal stuff. The bella band is saving my gut. You should consider shelling out the $30 to get one. Or borrow one from a momma who isn't using it. I can't believe I went my whole first pregnancy without it.
9. I pity vote for Kate Gosselin every week on DWTS. I want her to have money for her cute kids even if she is the worst dancer ever. She is not a perfect, or even a very nice person, but she has had a hard year and I feel like maybe a vote from a fellow sympathetic (or maybe just pathetic) mom may help her provide for her kids. I need to cut back on my reality TV time. DVR has ruined my life.
10. I am going to leave you with a video of the cutest little guy ever watching his DVD, "Curious Buddies on the Farm". The song he likes is called "Cows, Chickens, and Pigs". He is mooing along and even snorts like a pig at one point. For those who are judging my parenting, and the fact that I let my 14 month old watch TV, I have one question. Is your kid mooing???He loves mooing and he loves Sesame Street.
It's a hard knock life raising a baby genius. Click it and love it.
http://www.vimeo.com/10818206
2. I have a new obsession. I know I am at least three years behind, but I have started following the pioneer woman's blog. For one thing, the background for all her stories take place in Bartlesville and Osage County. I can totally relate to all of her locational references. She recently talked about Murphy's Hot Hamburgers. My kinda girl. I just watched her on The View today via my new laptop. I love her. Maybe a little too much. Maybe a bit on the crazy obsessive fan way.
3. My hubby moves to Owasso in 5 days. I am freaking out a little bit. My house is not sold. There are some circumstances surrounding the move that I am less than thrilled with and I hate the idea that Isaac will not see his Daddy for 4 days out of each week. Please pray for us. Pray that God will sell our house SOON, that my life here as a single mom will be uneventful, that I will have peace, and that God will help (stubborn, hard-headed) me to be content in all our circumstances. And pray that the next 6 weeks will go FAST!!!
4. I could not possibly understand taxes any less than I do. Not by a long shot. The last 2 years, we were sure we would owe huge and we received in excess of $1300. This year after some hefty deductions such as a BABY, hospital & medical bills for a BABY, childcare credit for a BABY, and an ear tube surgery for the BABY, thousands and thousands of dollars- we owe. We owe only $270. Not a budget busting amount. But still, we owe. It may be my hormones or the fact that everything sound in my life is about to be stripped away, but I really would have liked to have a refund with a new baby coming, my future as a SAHM, and an impending move.
5. I am also 5 days away from my second trimester with this little cupcake growing in my belly. Ryland and I have chosen names for it that we really love and are looking forward to sharing them as soon as we find out the sex. Everything I read says that it is way too early but I really feel like I feel the little tator tot wiggling sometimes. Maybe it's just gas, but whatever it is, it is very reassuring. :)
6. How bout big Mike's kick off and save on Idol this week. Holy cow! Here's my top 4: Crystal, Big Mike, Casey, and Siobhan. What do you think?
7. I have a confession. I have shamefully, in secret, been playing a game called Papaya Farm on my i-phone. I didn't want to farm on facebook because I loathe/hate/detest getting 50 updates a day about people's farm. I understand their addiction, but I also don't want to alienate my friends. So I have been playing in secret. But thank God, I'm over it now. I am going to delete it from my phone soon. I think. Is there such a thing as free app hoarding? I think I just invented my own new mental illness.
8. To all my preggo buddies- If you do not have a bella band, you will be sorry. I have gotten fat so fast this time around. I haven't gained a pound but my belly is ginormous already. I am not fat enough for full on maternity pants, but I can't button my normal stuff. The bella band is saving my gut. You should consider shelling out the $30 to get one. Or borrow one from a momma who isn't using it. I can't believe I went my whole first pregnancy without it.
9. I pity vote for Kate Gosselin every week on DWTS. I want her to have money for her cute kids even if she is the worst dancer ever. She is not a perfect, or even a very nice person, but she has had a hard year and I feel like maybe a vote from a fellow sympathetic (or maybe just pathetic) mom may help her provide for her kids. I need to cut back on my reality TV time. DVR has ruined my life.
10. I am going to leave you with a video of the cutest little guy ever watching his DVD, "Curious Buddies on the Farm". The song he likes is called "Cows, Chickens, and Pigs". He is mooing along and even snorts like a pig at one point. For those who are judging my parenting, and the fact that I let my 14 month old watch TV, I have one question. Is your kid mooing???He loves mooing and he loves Sesame Street.
It's a hard knock life raising a baby genius. Click it and love it.
http://www.vimeo.com/10818206
All my love,
Mindy
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