2011- Year in Review

Didn’t I just ring in the new year?

I know I say it every year but they just seem to keep getting faster. I heard an aged friend say that
when you believe in Santa Christmas comes every 5 years, when you are Santa it
comes every 5 months, and when you look like Santa, it comes every 5 days. I am
so thankful to “be” Santa right now and I am trying to savor all the sweet
wonder on the faces of my 2 sweet tots in their footy pajamas.

For the past several years I have been writing our “Russell
Family Digital Christmas Card”, it is my attempt at reflecting on and
summarizing the year in passing. So here I go……

In January, I woke up to a dream I had my whole life. I was
at DISNEY WORLD! That’s right, I spent the first day of 2011 in Disney World.
Ryland’s Grandmother Mary (Russell) Rose and her husband, Tom, loaded 40ish
family members onto a charter bus and took us to Florida for a week. In my dreams I probably wouldn’t have planned to take a 10 week old baby, but she was a great little traveler, she napped on and snuggled on her adoring aunts, uncles, grands, and cousins. Isaac was in
complete amazement of the rides, shows, and characters- I cry when I think of
the look on his face watching the light parade on our last night. It was pure
joy. It was one of the sweetest and most precious gifts I have ever been given.
I will treasure it forever. And I NEED to go back! (Praying for an
unrealistically huge tax return!)

We returned home from paradise intact and made plans for a
very special birthday weekend for my two sweet boys on the first weekend of
February. We were supposed to celebrate in Arkansas with Mimi and Poppy but 21
inches of snow and 2 weeks of blizzard like conditions cancelled our plans. We
hunkered down and spent two weeks watching movies and sitting in our pj’s. Isaac celebrated his second birthday and Ryland celebrated his 27th as snow continued to fall.

In March God answered a year- long prayer: our house in
Guthrie sold! We were glad to see it go after putting in piers, fixing a busted hot water
heater, and several months paying both rent and a mortgage. It was a tough
time, but God remained faithful and met all our needs. He’s always good about
that.

April brought our great Easter production at church. And on
Easter morning Isaac woke up with a very high fever which turned out to be the
flu. Which he passed to Hope. Which they passed to me. We spent a lot of time
at home in April. The highlight of April was paying off my student loans. It is
a goal of ours to be completely debt free. This was one step closer. We are one
car away!

In May we used part of our tax return to take a trip to
Branson with Jeje, Pawpa, and Uncle Lane. We swam indoors, Silver Dollar
Citied, showed, ate, and had fun. We traveled to Arkansas to see Ryland’s
sister, Hilary, graduate from high school. From there we took a short weekend
trip to OKC to watch Ryland lead worship for a revival, and we ended the month
at Bigheart Day and my (sigh) 10 year reunion. Yes, I’m old.

June began the camp season. We kissed Ryland goodbye and held
the fort down at home. I worked the summer session at the pre-school, so two
days a week I got to take school age kids on fun field trips, Isaac got to
splash with his buddies, and Hope got to snuggle with her Miss Tonya. Hope
decided she had spent enough time being immobile and started crawling.

July brought the heat. Weeks upon weeks of 100 degree days.
We stayed indoors most of the time, except for a week that we spent in Eureka
Springs with Mimi, Poppy, and our cousins. Mimi took Isaac to an alligator
farm. And we went to a fantastic water/amusement park. Isaac was exhausted, but
blissfully happy. He loves anything that involves his cousins. We had VBS at
church, Isaac loved the music. He is quite a dancer.

August was still hot. Again, we spent most of the time
indoors. I think that the heat stroke has erased most of my memory of this
month!

In September we went back to school…well…preschool, that is.
I am still teaching pre-school music at Grand Central Kids. I love my job. No
lesson plans, short classes, no grading, and cute kids. We get to sing about
Jesus and dance. It is sweet. We took Isaac to see “The Lion King” in 3D. It
was his first movie. He wore his glasses and sang all the songs. He is
enthusiastic about everything. This was no different. He even told his Dad that
Mufasa was his best friend.

October was kicked off at the Tulsa State Fair with Jeje and
Pawpa. Hope loved sampling the local flavors, Isaac rode the ferris wheel with
me. He asked me if he could scream when we went down, and scream he did! We
celebrated Hope’s first birthday, Mimi and Poppy showed up just in time to see
Hope walk across the living room for the first time. I’m afraid she might be
just a bit of a show off. We celebrated her first year and my 29th.
Ryland took me for a much needed overnight trip complete with shopping, movies,
and eating out. I was thoroughly loved.

November was a blur- we spent Thanksgiving in Chickasha, and
we met our new cousin, Dawit for the first time. He arrived from Ethiopia with
his proud new family, Kent, Georgia, and Blake Bush during the summer. Dawit is
in the process of learning English but he said, “baby!” over and over- he
really loved Hope and kept sneaking little hugs and kisses. We went to the
Festival of Light and worked on our Christmas shopping.

And sweet December. Ryland worked tirelessly to put on our
Christmas musical, complete with fog, snow, amazing music, a sleigh, a living
nativity, and a stomp style drum line. It was incredible. I was blessed to be
part of it. It was Isaac’s first time to sit in “big church”. He sat on the
front row and during my solo I could hear his little voice saying, “hi momma,
hi momma!”. We visited Santa at Bass Pro
Shop where Isaac asked for a “Dragon Happy Napper” and Hope screamed in terror
when we handed her to Santa. We also rode the Christmas train where we saw an
account of the life of Jesus. I had a yucky case of stomach flu the weekend
before Christmas and ended up dehydrated! Luckily I bounced back in time to
catch all the holiday fun. We hosted Christmas morning at our house with my
parents and Ryland’s. It was the first time I have ever been in my own house on
Christmas morning. I loved it- I can see why people get so defensive about
being home on Christmas. We traveled to Dewey, Barnsdall, and Chickasha to see
our Granndparents and celebrate. I even spent the wee hours of December 26th
at the hospital in Chickasha, Hope decided to run a high fever and scare me.
Isaac and Ryland snoozed in our hotel room until we returned.

And now here I am, just 24 hours from 2012. Putting to bed a
year that has been challenging and incredibly full of blessings. And in the short term, planning to cook several of our favorite dishes from Bahama Breeze (RIP, but thank God for pinterest!) for my family to ring in the new year.

This year marks the smallest income that we have known as a
couple. But it is also the year where we have paid off the most debts. It is
the year where we have had major needs that we couldn’t afford- but people and
unexpected providers showed up, and in turn we were able to give to many others
this year. It hasn’t been easy, my attitude has been crummy many times. I let
myself get bogged down in things beyond my control, but God is bigger and more
generous than I deserve and I am so blessed more than I deserve. And as we face
another year with no raises, and increasing expenses, I know God will still be
faithful as we strive to be good stewards of the gifts we’ve been given.

I have goals and dreams for 2012. I am hoping that this will
be the year that we become completely debt free. We are close! I pray that my
family stays healthy, that my extended family and friends who are fighting hard
ailments will find healing. And that Ryland and I will glorify God in our
parenting, decisions, and finances. We are going to do our best to plan time
off, and actually use it to rest! We are so bad about using time off to do
extra work. I am planning on doing a 5K before I turn 3o in October. And in the midst of child rearing, I want to remember to keep falling in love with the amazing baby daddy that God gave me in the first place- I love that guy!

My children are growing so fast. Isaac is so smart and
funny. And Hope is a happy little dancer. They bring me more joy than words can
express. I am weepy and nostalgic when I think of them this time last year-
Isaac was only talking a little, and Hope was a newborn. So different from the
two funny little people that I know now. I can’t believe that God thought that
I was good enough to deserve them. I hope I can live up to that responsibility.

I am also hoping to blog more next year. We’ll see…..

Happy belated holidays, beloved. Praying that 2011 was
sweet, and that 2012 holds blessings that are even sweeter.

Tears In My Eyes- Mushy Christmas Musings

After a brief, sweet, cry as I was lost in nostalgia of past Christmases, I had a thought.

Why do memories make us so weepy?

My childhood memories are cluttered with images and sights and smells and people and laughs.

My earliest Christmas mornings in my Grandma's little living room, crammed with gifts, and cousins.

Getting a bride dress up gown and crying when my cousins told me they were going to take me to marry Johnny Smith.

The smell of coffee and biscuits and gravy.

The house littered with air mattresses and pallets and mammie quilts.

Christmas carols sang with much gusto by people of limited talented who were unaware of their limits.

Ornaments that belonged to Great Grandparents that I never met or don't remember.

Red apple ornaments bearing my name and all those I love.

Candies- home made and more wonderful than any ever purchased in a store.

Waiting anxiously as our Christmas baby, Jordan was born almost 18 years ago.

Being so mad that my family wanted to stay up and visit- Santa couldn't come until everyone was sleeping!!!!

Highly inappropriate Christmas gifts being exchanged on Christmas eve, only to be stolen by the right and left family!

The Elmer Fudd Chia Pet that would NOT DIE!

Games of spoons that often resluted in injury and crying.

How beautiful my grandparents were. How blissfully happy. How blessed. How favored by God.

The year that my Grandpa Corky met Jesus in this world.

The year that my Grandpa-in-love Alvin Russell met Jesus face to face in heaven. What a glorious day.

My destructo brother breaking treasured Precious Moments figurines and wisemen.

How my little hometown sparkled with lights on the lamp posts, and a cross shining from a water tower overlooking the town.

My Dad pointing out blinking red lights from plane towers and insisting that it was Santa. I BELIEVED!

Watching my cousins marry and bring a new generation of little ones to take part.

Socks and lifesavers from Grannie Grete or Big Granny as she was known.

The twinkle in the eyes of my Grandpa for who Christmas inspired poetry, pride, and happiness beyond measure.

The year Grannie Myrna burned the rolls and fire marshall Ralph saved the day!

Candlelight services and sweet hymns shared with my church family.

Hmmm.... I just noticed that I never mentioned a gift. Interesting.

I think I know the answer. Why does it make us weepy. I think the answer is simple. In those moments- we just don't realize how good it is. We don't think about the spot in the middle of a green sectional that will be empty, or a laugh that you'll never hear again, or stories that you've heard a thousand times that will never again cross the lips of someone you'll miss until Jesus comes back. I just didn't have any idea how wonderful it was. I do now. And I am so thankful that I had those moments, even if they only exist in my memory now.

But here I am, almost 30. I am Santa now, Mrs. Claus technically. I am orchestrating the memories of two little people that I love more than I ever thought it was possible to love another. And the sweetness continues. I think of my first Christmas as a wife thinking it was so weird to wake up with a boy in my bed! The Christmas we told our families we were preganant only to lose that baby. Being very pregnant with Isaac three years later, very Mary-esque. My first Christmas as a momma, starting a sweet day with my in-laws, and having high expectations that were dashed by 24 inches of snow and ending in a Super8 in Sapulpa with "the bomb" as my Christmas dinner. Then having 10 week old Hope in tow and taking a Griswold Style Christmas vacation on a charter bus to Disney World.

The memories continue. The tears still come.

So mock me if you will when I put up my tree at the first of November, then cry when my fingers find my sentimental ornaments, and laugh for no reason when I hear "Christmas Shoes" or "Where are You Christmas?", or always think that a children's Christmas musical would be better if Miss Debbie was running the show. I'm just getting lost in the past for a minute. I'm sure I'll be back soon, because I need to be present. I don't ever wanna miss anything. I may look back later and realize how good it was.

A Letter to the Birthday Girl

Hopey,

How is it possible that a year has passed since we first met? How did you transform from my tiny baby into such a big girl so quickly? Didn't we agree that you would go slow and stay little?

I will not be able to say all that I want in one post- there aren't enough words for me to tell you how special you are or how blessed I am that God chose me to be your Momma. How could you possibly know that I dreamed and prayed for a daughter and God answered with you- and you are more precious and wonderful than I could even have imagined?!?!?

In a year's time you have been a spring day in the middle of a two week blizzard, and a breath of cool air in two months of desert. You have been joy in the midst of sorrow, and riches in a time of want. You were a smile when there were only tears. You are north on a compass that helps me find the direction of what's important.

You are a beauty. No doubt. But your beauty is not in your sweet little wisps of blonde hair, your long eyelashes, or sparkly blue eyes. Your beauty radiates from inside- I believe that God has given you a truly lovely heart. I hope that I can help you learn how to let your little light shine. Not so that people will love you, but so that people will love who made you- so that people will know your light giver.

You have a laugh that is music! Your giggle is contagious. You are so ready to walk but just haven't quite found your feet. You explore the world with joy, you think that there is no greater treasure than digging through your bubba's toys. You love food (that's my girl!) and will try anything. You are slowly growing 5 teeth (on top of your existing 3!) that will expand the foods you can eat. You love following your bubba and imitating him in whatever way is possible. You two are best friends, a prayer answered for Momma. You can say momma, da-da, bubba, dog, and you can mimic so many cute sounds, especially giggling and fake coughing and laughing.

Tunia, my prayer for both you and your brother is that even now, God is revealing himself to you- that you are already starting to know Him and see Him at work. I pray, more than anything, that you will answer Him when He calls someday, that you love Him with all your heart, and that you'll walk with Him all the days of your life. If this is the case, I'll never have to worry. You'll be in hands that are safer than mine could ever be. I hope I can point you in that direction.

I pray that you love others. I hope that people are more precious to you than beauty or stuff. I hope you see needs in others and rush to help.

I pray that God protects you from people, illnesses, and situations that would extinguish your little light. And that God will help me to protect you as well.

Sissy, a very wise man was quoted as saying, "I didn't want perfect children, I just wanted children." (God bless you Joe Don.) And that is so true! I don't expect perfection- but I hope you will be a "try-er". And there is no mistake or flaw that could ever make me stop loving you. Ever.

You are a gift from God. You are all that I could have ever wanted in a daughter. And on your first birthday, I just hope you know that you are special, you are loved so very much, and Lord willing we will celebrate many more happy years together. I hope we make many sweet memories and that I get to be around to watch as you take your first steps, learn, fall in love with all the sweetness life has to offer, and hopefully get to experience being a mommy someday to someone as wonderful as you are.

Happy Birthday, baby. Thank you for being mine.

I love you,
Momma

So Long, Summer

(Originally written, September 4, 2011)

So Long, Summer

I go back to work tomorrow.

I am looking forward to it. I also look forward to the coolness of fall after 60 some days of 100 degree temperatures.

I have a job that I love. I have great co-workers and I feel tremendously blessed that my job allows me to be with my kids and be a mommy first.

But going back means that summer is officially gone. That always makes me nostalgic. Some of the happiest moments in my life have happened in the summer.

Growing up, my mom worked in the school system. So in the summer she was home with us. And she was fun. She made sure we were busy. She would take us to waterparks, amusement parks, zoos, ballgames, anything. She also joined us and anyone else we dragged along at our pool at home. She kept the fridge stocked, swimsuits and uniforms cleaned, and gas in the car, so that fun-having opportunities were set up for success. My Dad was a fisherman, there were many trips to our local lake in the evenings to fish. I grew to enjoy the quiet, solitude, and patience that I learned during these times. Mostly, like any little girl, I just liked the attention from my dad.

Both sets of my grandparents lived in my hometown growing up. It grieves me that my kids will never know what that is like. I will count that as one of the most precious blessings of my childhood. Anyways, there were tons of family events. There was always a lunch filled with cousins on Sunday after church. And many sporadic visits in between. My grandparents were at most of my sporting events. They were a constant sight in the background of all those memories.

I also went to Falls Creek. My mom started going as a sponsor the summer after I turned 6. I went every summer after that until I was married. God moved during those trips. Friendships were solidly built, God spoke into my life and revealed plans, and in summer 1998 I met a boy.

I went to Falls Creek with FBC Chickasha, the church where my friend Miriam was interning for the summer. Before I ever got there she told me about a boy she thought I would like.

I was immediately repulsed. The boy in question was cute, in a skinny baseball player, not smooth at all in flirting, sorta way. And he was very young, 14. Way to young for a mature 15 year old woman such as myself.

The week went on and the more we talked the more a crush grew in my heart. And at the end of the week, a very innocent, sweet, life altering kiss happened. The likes of which would never be repeated until the summer of 2005 when that skinny, immature, not smooth boy, kissed me again and made me his wife.

Summer past have brought a family trip to Alabama in 1995, the loss of my grandpa Corky and my first trip out of the country to Jamaica in the same week in 2005, the revelation of my pregnancy with Isaac in 2008, and our big move to Owasso last summer in 2010.

This present summer has been precious. Money has been tight. I did not have an income for the first summer ever. And because of cuts in Ryland's job, his bring home income is less than it was when we started here. But God is ever faithful and we have made it as we always do. This was my first summer as a mother of two. Hope started crawling, cruising, talking, and worming her way even more into the hearts of our family. Isaac enjoyed trips to Hot Springs and Branson, swimming, zoos, and playing with his friends and Grandparents. He started speaking in sentences and loving Disney movies. My time with them has been sweet. Ryland did several camps and got me out of the house for several dates all of which I loved.

Tomorrow it's back to work and routine. The dogs days of summer are gone once more. I look forward to what next summer will bring. No doubt it will be eventful.

Thank you God for all the life I have lived in the summertime. You are good.