Blog Vomit

I am sooooo ready for summer. I am ready for rest, relaxation, sleeping in, and chilling out. I am ready to blog on a more regular basis and stay in my pj's until inappropriate times of the day.

I don't know why I do this to myself, but I wait until my head and heart are so full of things to say in a blog post that they just come busting out in a mega long post. So I apologize in advance to those of you suffer through my ramblings. This is just one of those times that I have a lot to say.

First, I am so excited, in 5 days, I will know the sex of my little Tator Tot who has so sweetly been hiding in my belly for the last 4 and a half months. People ask me what I want: boy or girl, son or daughter? And honestly, I fantasize being told both, and my reaction to either is sheer and absolute joy. When I think boy I think of Isaac having a baby brother, I think of tee ball games where they will play on the same team, brotherly wrestling matches and hijinks on their poor defenseless mother, I think of how I will remain the queen of the Russell castle for now. Then I think of a daughter, I think shopping trips, ruffles, bows, proms, chick flicks, and Barbie Dolls, I think of how much I LOVE my friendship with my Mom, and how I wouldn't mind Ryland having a "princess" sitting between him and his queen. More than anything, I think of how God blessed us at all with a second child. I don't deserve it. I wasn't worthy of the first child He gave me. But through God's mercy and compassion, He is blessing us again. I am so thankful. The "me" of three years ago ached for a baby, I was so broken by loss and heartache. Now more than ever I feel healed and perfected. My body is no longer my enemy, but a vessel for the miraculous. The Lord gives and the Lord takes away- blessed be His name.

Which brings me to the second part of my post. My heart is so broken right now. I have so many wonderful people in my life who are struggling so hard through seasons of infertility. I have two friends that suffered traumatic pregnancy losses, two who have had IVF and IUI fail them, one with a medical condition preventing pregnancy, several with PCOS who cannot conceive, and some that are still trying to even find a viable diagnosis as to why there is no child in their womb or their arms. I told one friend that infertility and pregnancy loss is like a sorority that you never wanted to be in. You get kicked around and hurt, but thankfully you are not alone, and there are so many out there just like you that are asking the same questions and going through the same trials. I hope that all of you know- even the ones of you that I have never met, that I don't see daily, or haven't seen in years- I am praying for you daily. I am praying that your Creator who made your body for a specific reason will reach down and heal all that is broken- body, mind, and spirit. I am praying for your peace and comfort from the Holy Spirit. I am praying that Jesus, who took on our flesh will walk beside you, grieve with you, and carry you when it all becomes too much. I am praying that God will guide you in how He wants to build your family. I am praying that you can let go of your desires and pray for yours to line up with His. There is a reason why. Stay the course, keep the faith. persevere. You are all amazing- I am joyfully anticipating the day that I will rejoice with each of you over all that God has done to provide exactly what you need.

Lastly, I have some prayer requests. My oldest and dearest friend has received the devastating news that her father has stage 4 cancer throughout his body. Please pray that God has the opportunity to love on their whole family during this time, and that God's voice will be heard above anything else. Also, our house in Guthrie is still on the market. We have not even had a showing in a month. The separation from Ryland has been hard. When we are together in Owasso we live in a furnished rent house. It is nice but it isn't our stuff and therefore, it doesn't feel like home. I constantly feel like someones guest and therefore I am never truly able to relax. We are ready to move on but this house makes us feel tied here. Please pray that God brings a buyer for our house. I am ready for it all to fall into place.

I will blog no more tonight. Thank you for sticking it out and reading to the end.

All My Love,

Mindy

Look for a "revealing" post on Saturday.