Worryings

Those who know me well know that I tend to worry a lot. It's kind of one of my hobbies; worrying things to death.

This weekend I have a lovely shopping trip with my Mom and Aubrey and I decided to look for cribs. I want to buy a crib that converts into the toddler bed, then to a day bed, and then to a full bed. I figure if we invest in that then we are covered whether we get a three month old or a three year old. I think it is a good plan.

But then I started thinking about all the other things a child needs that vary depending on age. A carseat, stroller, highchair, diapers, clothing, toys..... all things that I will have no idea what size or kind to get until we are at the thresh hold of bringing the child home.

Then there is the question of decor. Since we won't know the sex until last minute, I can't buy bedding and other related items until the last minute. I know that if we get a little boy, his room will be done in puppies and the colors will be red, black, sky blue and navy. If we get a little girl, her room is going to be poodles and paris. She will have a hot pink, baby pink, white and black room. ( I am going to post pictures of the bedding someday when Ryland teaches me how.)

From what I heard from another DHS family, we will have a very short time to prepare our house and the baby room. This lady told me they found out early in the week and had her son by Friday. Which doesn't leave a lot of time, but on the flip-side if I knew who our child was and that we were for sure bringing him/her home, I would want to bring it home RIGHT THEN.

This is all very anxiety inducing for a planner like me. I plan my life months and months and months in advance. Again, I think God is laughing. He is stretching me way out of my comfortable place and teaching me about the labor of love that is adoption. I just want our sweet baby to come home to a room and things that are his/hers. I want to provide the best that I can and I know that God will help us in that. And I also am thinking even as I type that it is not me that is the provider...... that is, has been, and always will be God's job. It is against everything in me to trust in that and let go.

For now I am going to keep dreaming of poodles and puppy dog bedrooms and find our little one a crib and a dresser. Buying it will make me feel so much better. I know our baby will grow in someone else's womb but every single day it grows inside my heart and sometimes I feel like I will just burst from the anticipation. I am already so in love with that little nameless, faceless person. And I can't wait for the day to bring it home, to whatever room (or lack of one) that we have.

Prayer Focus:
1) Keep praying for our sweet baby. Prayer for protection, comfort, plenty of food, a rich environment, and that God will be real in our child's life even now. Also pray for the child's birth parents and foster parents that they will meet all the needs of our baby and care for it lovingly.
2) Keep praying for Kari, we are hoping to hear from our contractor this week, ask God to bless Kari and to help her carry the weight of her case load and be productive.
3) We start our parenting classes next Saturday. Pray that we keep an open mind and good attitudes. Pray that God provides networking opportunities so that we can meet some of the case workers and maybe some other adoptive parents that can help guide us through the next few months.

We love you all, have a great week!

Mindy