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| Here's an un-posed picture of my little punk brother. He hates un-posed pictures and I'm mad at him for leaving me in Oklahoma to deal with my parents alone. Suck on that brother. |
1) There are many bad choices that I could tolerate from you, Lane. Being a Spurs fan is not one. I will DISOWN you. Forever. I could understand you being a Rockets fan since they stole the beard from us in OKC. Texas is taking everything I love. Haley, Lane, James Harden.....
2) I will never tell anyone you are from Texas. I refuse to believe that or to perpetuate such an ugly thought. I will tell people you live there temporarily. And I expect you to do the same.
3) Since you are temporarily living in Texas I expect that when you come home to visit your HOME in Oklahoma that as a sign of shame and regret for being a Texas resident that you will adopt a proper Texas dress code- a ten gallon hat, a huge ugly belt buckle, and boots with spurs. I will also expect you to talk like Charlie from Sunny in the episode where they try to sell gas door to door.
4) Everything's bigger in Texas? I know youir paycheck will be. I expect bigger gifts for me and my children and checks for taking care of our high-maintenence, aging parents in your absence.
5) You've already made Grannie B cry which is unforgiveable so I expect you to attend John Hagee's church so that Grannie Myrna will be happy. I also expect you to give a facebook re-cap complete with all sermon points and life applications each Sunday after services. If you are moving away from all of our grandparents you gotta pay the piper buddy.
6) YOU CANNOT FALL IN LOVE WITH TEXAS AND STAY FOREVER. You can't. I will die.
7) I would however love to tell the story at your rehearsal dinner of how I predicted that you met and fell in love with a sweet Oklahoma girl when you met and talked about how much you hated the Spurs and couldn't wait to move back to Oklahoma to God's country and your sister predicted just such an event in her blog. Make it happen. There has to be at least one poor, miserable, displaced Oklahomie there.
8) IN seriousness- I love you, Lane. I am so proud of you. And as much as my heart hurts I am so excited for you to have a fresh start in a new place. Enjoy it (but not so much you wanna stay forever), make memories and come home every single chance you can. Go get em' brother.
3 comments:
This post made me laugh!! Good luck to your bro!
OK, OK, ALRIGHT, ALREADY....I get the point! We are infirm, aging, stressed out, high maintenance, senior citizen(your Dad) life givers to you and your brother. Quite frankly, we would be glad to take Caribbean vacations 4 times a year, have a huge RV decked out with everything except extra beds, send postcards(actually emails) from anywhere we ever dreamed about going,and live the great life of luxury with the huge retirement your Daddy has so diligently worked for his entire career. There are only 2 reasons we choose not to indulge our every wish or want. Their names are ISAAC and HOPE. REALLY!!! You and Lane need to come to grips with the fact that in the big picture, we don't see you two being major players in the Harmon "Golden Years" corporate retirement schematic. Honestly, but with much love, you two have always had a tendency to stay parked in the "self centered" area. We've moved on, maybe it's time you both leave a little dust behind you and choose another space to branch out to! With total love and devotion my darlings, Momma
Lane, point proven. Get the checks in the mail.
Mom, please remember who birthed Isaac and Hope and write your will accordingly.
But in all seriousness, I am looking forward to our road trip.(Other than the "leaving Lane in Texas" part. I may have taken some artistic liberties by embellishing facts for this blog. All in good fun. Love you!
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