Three.

Isaac,

Three.

The number of siblings waiting for you in heaven.

The number of times I've had my heart broken.

The trinity.

The amigos.

The stooges.

The number of times I think of you in any given hour when we're apart.

The number of years it has been since you made me a mommy.

I think about my life three years ago- quiet, calm, orderly. Then came you. You were born on a sunny 60ish degree Tuesday, and you were perfect. Since then my life has been loud, messy, unpredictable, and more fun and joyous than I could have ever dreamed. You brought a rainbow of colors into a world that was gray.

Baby guy, I am amazed that you've been here this long. You have now been here longer than the time I spent waiting for you. When I was pregnant, time crept, inched, seemed to stop. All I wanted was for time to speed up so I could get you in my arms. And now three years later I want it all to slow down so that I can keep you in my arms.

My favorite moments are when you climb in my lap, snuggle up, kiss my lips, and say the sweetest words on this side of heaven, " I love you momma". I wish I could bottle up that feeling and save it. I know that teenage days will come and the kisses and snuggles might be few to non-existent, but I hope you know how do and always will treasure you. My silly, sweet boy.

I think you are the funniest kid I know. You like to say things that you know will get a laugh. Dora has taught you that saying "bananapants" will make turkeys laugh, but it seems to work on everyone else too! You love dinosaurs, pretending, reading books, singing, and watching shows & movies. Some of your favorites are : Dinosaur Train, The Grinch, Octonauts, Mickey Mouse, Diego, Veggie Tales, Robin Hood, and The Lion King.

Some of my favorite mispronounced words of yours are: raindy punder, nilk, baghetti, dongal duck, sweet teef, marmie, and so many other cute words. You've never been much for baby talk, you've always liked to talk like a big boy. So your mispronunciations are often short lived.

This is a typical day for you: Wake up, invade our bed, watch YouTube videos ( badgers, the duck song, Rebecca Black's Friday, just to name a few favorites), eat breakfast, watch cartoons and snuggle, lunch, nap 2-3 hours if we can get you to sleep instead of destroying your room, wake up, snuggle more, play, dinner, bath, bed time books prayers hugs kisses super-shakes, and finally bed.

When you very first wake up, we ask you what you dreamed about. You always answer with, "I dream about Jesus". Then we ask you what else and it is always some kind of animals.

And speaking of animals- you know them all. Especially dinosaurs: deinonychus, parasauralophus, ankylosaurus, velocirapter, troodon. I am amazed that you can identify them! You are such a smart guy. You get hungry to learn when you get interested. I love this. I hope you will always love learning.

Bedtime is one of my favorite times of your day. Either Dad or I will read you a story or three, then we say our prayers. Some of your favorite books are: The Biggest Thing in the Ocean, The Spooky Old Tree, PJ Funny Bunny, The End, The Cat in the Hat Dinosaurs, Dinosaurs Love Underpants, and The Pigeon Wants a Puppy.

In your prayer, you say, "Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray-a Lord my soul to keep, if I should die before I wake, I pray-a Lord my soul to keep... Take! Sweet dreams for Isaac, Jesus name, Amen. And mommy loves you, and daddy loves, you and Hope loves you, and who else? Jesus loves you. Don't ever forget that."

After that you say, "Daddy say a prayer, go ahead Dad." Then Dad prayers, always making sure to thank God for the little and big things that we have to be thankful for that day. Then you say, "Momma say a prayer, go ahead Mom". I always tell God thanks for letting me be you and Hope's mom, and I pray that you and sissy will know God, love Him, and walk with Him all the days of your life.

You have recently decided you want to say a second, closing prayer. It goes, "Dear Jesus, I thank you so much for my Dad, and my Momma, and my Hope. And thank you for loving me. Jesus' name, Amen".

You love going to pre-school. You love Miss Brandie and Miss Tricia, your sweet teachers. You also have little friends that you enjoy: Axton, Max, Madison, Lily Kate, Landon, and Lola. You love playing, singing, doing crafts, and the routine of it all. You know letters, the pledge of allegiance, colors, and so many other things because of your early education. I don't love having to work, but isn't it grand that through my job you are able to get a great head start on learning and socialization?

You are a boy. All boy. You delight in the gross. You enjoy telling me, "Momma, I toot". You giggle. I try not to laugh, and you finally finish with "excuse me". Silly boy.

You are a family man. You LOVE your Jeje, Mimi, Pawpa, Poppy, and cousins. There is nothing that excites you more than spending time with your family. And they love you so much. How could they not?

I don't know if you'll ever potty train. You aren't interested. I hope when I write your 4 year letter, we are celebrating!

I just want you to know how sweet the last three years have been. Being your mom is more wonderful than I will ever be able to explain. I pray I am worthy of the gift of you.

Son, I have so many dreams for you. I want you to value education, to work hard, and to love others. I hope you will respect women, protect your sister, and be strong in your convictions. You crawled in my lap the other day as we watched the end of "Robin Hood" where he & maid Marion get married. You looked at me and said, "Momma, I'm going to get married and be a daddy". It melted my heart. I pray that you do! You have the best model in the world to follow.

More than anything, I hope that you find God- love him, learn about him, serve him, and share him. I hope I can show you how. God has such a special plan for your life. As much as I miss those sweet baby days, I am so excited to watch you grow and become a man. I hope you know that no matter where you go, what you choose, or what mistakes you make, I will always love you. You have brought more joy to me than I'll ever be able to describe. You are a gift from God, and I can't believe how lucky I am that God gave you to me.

Happy third birthday my big boy.

I'll love you forever,


Momma